Me and secondary infertility

Eversince Datuk Siti announced her successful pregnancy after a few attempts of IVF – people are starting to share stories of their own infertility journey. Which is good. The public is more aware of their options in trying for a child. It would be nice of course to also bring Prof Dr Imelda’s concern regarding these health facilities to at the same time, provide neonatal intensive care services for expecting parents of multiple pregnancies instead of letting government facilities figure it out once the babies arrive.

We too experienced secondary infertility. Did IVF came into mind? Yes, in fact Mr Husband suggested we give it a go at a local private Obs and Gynae clinic. I was the hesitant one. Because although cost is not an issue – its the commitment and emotional roller coaster involved that I’m worried about. Not to mention the invasive examination and procedures I will need to go through later on.

Yup, still hesitant even after 5 years of ‘trying’. Meaning frequent ‘wrestling’ sessions even though we love to sleep more after a tiring day at work with our invented method of teknik takungan. *rolleyes* Diligent calorie counting and attempts at exercise to get that optimum BMI to increase chances of conceiving. Lots of sedekah. Mountains of prayers and dua’s on the prayer mat at early hours of the morning and also through friends going for Hajj. I even made a promise to Mr Husband that if we have a successful pregnancy, I will file for a transfer to a different and better work environment. With the hope that this effort will have redha laki. Ha ha ha.

We were close to finally getting an intervention at the facility early this year when boom – I was tested positive in my urine test. Only Allah knows how relieved I was of not having to go through the journey of speculum examination, for instance.

So this is essentially a precious, wanted pregnancy. My experience of carrying this little munchkin is also way different from how it was with my firstborn. He/she is currently at 35 weeks and I really hope that we’d make it through till the end. While we can try our best to make this a safe pregnancy – only Allah knows what is happening inside the womb in detail.

May the baby be safe from the viruses I’ve come across during my working hours. May the baby be hindered from all the negative emotions and thoughts I encountered in my daily life. May the baby grow to be well and healthy. I can tell that my firstborn is very excited waiting for his/her arrival that he’s already picked a name for both gender. Ha ha.

In fact, may I also be safe throughout the delivery so I could see this gift that we’ve been waiting for such a long time. InsyaAllah. Amin.

 

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