The perfect path by Allah. You just need to find it. And pray that you find it.

I believe that there is always A Reason For Everything. That we are here for a bigger purpose. For a certain purpose. It’s Qada’ and Qadar. It’s the Circle of Life to some. These demonstrations of Power and Knowing All from Allah comes in simple ways and sometimes it comes by in a difficult scenario.

The Attire

Once, my mom gave me this beautiful green top from Indonesia, a colour that I may not choose for myself but willing to wear if its a gift from someone. Just a blouse waiting to match with a proper bottom and headscarf. It turns out that I already have the other 2 items randomly matched to other pieces of clothing in my wardrobe.I then realize that when this particular outfit was put together, it came out to be a perfect attire. Despite the scarf was something I bought a year ago and the pants, a choice I’ve had since my maternity days – when the time is right, these clothings served as the perfect choice for the blouse at that given moment.

While on its own with different dressing combinations, the headscarf may not appear outstanding. However with time and the correct moment, it changes its fate to become a must item for the new attire with the green top as they go so well with each other. So I trust that if now I feel useless, less successful as compared to my colleagues, with time I will blossom to the purpose I am meant to be. Until then, I should persevere, work hard , pray and trust Allah.

The Cesarean section

A pregnant lady had an immunocompromised condition. Under unclear circumstances, she was not the best high risk pregnant patient as she frequently defaulted appointments with her designated midwife . It comes to a point where she falsified some of her medical details in her antenatal book which unfortunately to the unknown, she appeared as another normal pregnant lady.

One day she went into early labor and went to the nearest clinic. The medical staff at this rural clinic had no idea she was a high risk patient and trusted the records completely on what was written in her book. They managed her accordingly and she was sent to the tertiary centre for further care. We have no idea what the intentions of this lady is but Allah was Kind and Most Merciful to the medical staff and also the baby. There was an indication for an emergency cesarean section and the baby came out safely.

It was only later that a close friend of hers disclosed to the nursing staff that she was immunocompromised which means medical staff needs to practice strict universal precaution on top implementing specific standard of care towards high risk patients. Of course investigations into the matter ensued but what intrigued me more was the fact that Allah knows best and that He made it possible to protect everyone including the newborn baby who was involved with the delivery.

Over Sea

My uncle who was stricken by renal cancer with metastases just passed away . He was in Sarawak. His brother, my father is 620 miles away in Selangor. If he had passed more than 3 years ago, I don’t think my parents would be able to fly back to Kuching and attend the funeral in such short notice.

However, they were able to do that today as they learnt the death of my uncle at 715PM and boarded the flight at 900PM using MAS Airlines. How was it possible? Because they had a son in law K, who works there, in MAS for the past 1 year . K’s story of how he ended there was not straight forward. Nor was the story of how he became my brother in law as he fought for his love (my sister) despite the many objections from both sides of the family. His life was full of trials and tribulations since he was very young. He is now stable and is serving well in MAS and to both of my parents. Because he works with MAS, he and his family were entitled to certain benefits and privileges. Amongst them, cheaper flight tickets.. and that was what my parents get to benefit from as well.

Allah has planned it so well to get the family to come together and love one another. Who would have thought that my brother in law would work with MAS one day as one of the ground staffs. But he did. For he worked hard. He prayed harder and asked from Allah good things. Best things in life. And the best plan of it all was that the timing of his death was on where the next day it is a public holiday. Hence my dad need not to worry about requesting leave from his superiors.

We need to sangka baik with Allah. For we know we are already given a head start to put one foot in heaven because we believe in HIM. We just need to prove that we are worth His Love and Trust, and that we could swing the other foot into heaven by doing good deeds in this life. Trust His plans. It is the most complete, the best path and personalized for each and everyone of us.

Salam Ramadhan 1440H

Some people need their whole life to turn a new leaf. Some, need just a Ramadhan.

📸 🧕🏻

It is fasting season again and already I can predict the same unaccomplished goals repeating itself. Hahaha.

  • Quran tak abis baca
  • Puasa tak penuh becoz of haid
  • House not ready for raya
  • Self not ready for raya

I was so not in the mood for Eid last year that I could not be bothered to even get nasi impit. I think its because I just got a baby that year and was transfered to a new working place. Hence, knowing myself with regards to my festive season affective disorder – I applied for a one week leave off work a week before Syawal. Syawal is the month of Eid.

I would like to use that week to just contradict myself. (Wuttt) Meaning something along the lines of wanting to take a break from work but running errands for the house. So its not exactly resting or Me.Time exclusively as I know I will be going to the bank, get groceries, deep clean the house, bake eid cookies, preparing gifts for friends and families. And of course the duit raya. Who could forget that? Theres many little humans to pamper and shower with love.

2 nieces

3 nephews

My god sons and daughters. The beautiful list is endless.

Back when I was a medical officer in Hospital Jasin, I would usually volunteer to be oncall on the 2nd of Hari Raya. I would make my ward rounds in the paeds ward and then distribute some duit raya for the kids and babies. Of course they would get one on the first day of raya from the hospital. This, is my personal contribution. Now that I am in a primary care setting, I hope to continue that maybe with kids in klinik desa or something. We will see.

Ramadhan as a mom is different every year. Although most of my roles involve finishing up leftover meals of my kids ( thank goodness I only have 2) or become a walking encyclopedia/dictionary – it is always interesting to find out every year.

I now have a secret helper in the kitchen – Madam Coway. Gosh, I really like the idea of having icy cold water at the tip of my finger.

For my terawih ( a form of Ramadhan exclusive prayer) at home, I now have the doTERRA diffuser and essential oils to keep my spririt up and running. Ninie is also at a developmental milestone where she can obey simple command and walk. If she wants to 😑.

There is always something new to learn about myself and my family everyday. We all grow up better physically, emotionally or spriritually. It’s like that night nanny in Tully (movie) saying how we all ‘grow a little each night’

Not just babies. We all do.

My 2015 resolution – a reflection

This was what I wanted to achieve for this year. Let’s see what came out of it.

  1. Teach Baby Zeeq the wonders of life
  2. Prepare a decent meal to feed the family at least for that one meal a day. Be it a simple fried egg or dried anchovies sambal
  3. To perform sunat prayers and Do Charity
  4. Read on knowledge that would make Work more interesting and of course Read to liven up the long lost fantasy world
  5. Workout and be fit. To maintain a BMI of less than 24
  6. Construct my fairy-themed garden
  7. Attend social gatherings,reunions and fulfill wedding/party invitations
  8. Send Parcel Kasih Sayang to besties 
  9. Learn new skills and make new friends
  10. BLOG 

The highlighted ones are the objectives that I feel I have achieved in one way or another. Interestingly, I find that 2015 was a year full of holidays. Like more than what I could imagine. I don’t think I would be able to do it alone. So it’s a good thing to have a partner in crime. Mr Husband of course.

It seems that I enjoy getting on airplanes, performing rukhsah in solat, tasting new food and just soaking in the different atmosphere. And I thought cuddling up in a blanket on the sofa with a book was ‘travelling more than one page’ already. 😛

Now I can’t help wondering if, say if, it would be equally exciting to go travel but in the company of my girls!!! ha ha.. something to think about.

Time to draft my 2016 resolution.

grinning in green

 

The Race for Time .. is it?

It is inevitable that Life Is A Race.

Who is successful in what. And gets media coverage.

Who has more kids. And is able to hold a 9 to 5 job at that.

Who earns more. And owns an expensive car.

Who is the happiest. And how long are they married for.

And we want to be on top of the game. So we need time. More time than before to squeeze every element into our lives. We forgot how to prioritise because we want everything.

Am I living The Life? Yes, to my standards. Although I still have goals to achieve and is hungry for more. When I was a house officer (HO) in a busy hospital, I prayed hard for Time. Time for myself, my family, my friends and of course for Allah. I felt guilty for rushing my salah – sometimes performing them at the end of its prayer times. I felt guilty for not being able to attend a close friends wedding. I felt guilty for saying to my mother that ‘Mummy, I will only be able to go back home on the 2nd of Eid’

Alhamdulilah, I got Time. Time that I could use for holidays, attending family events et cetera. 

With such gift, I feel obliged to attend to my prayers ON Time. Go to every single family and friends event that I could afford to with my gift of Time. In short, using Time for my benefit and others.

I leave you with a wonderful illustrated explanation of Surah Al-Asr by Nouman Ali Khan who speaks about Time in the surah very well.