Royan Ramadhan

“baru tak raya, dah koyak”

Bet that is what every KKM personnel feels like saying to netizens. Yang kerja kat spital dah macam separuh mati, having to now make priorities tang siapa ada better chance of survival untuk get the resources, yang netizen mulut puaka masih tak faham bahasa. Suruh vaksin sebagai usaha tak nak.. semua pun Yahudi. Eyy.. aku pun dah fedap dah ngan Covid-19 taw.

Although in comparison to my colleagues yang kerja in intensive care all, kerja kat KK tak seberat tu – we are at war with mentality and the actions that come with it. We still participate in sampling and triaging patients for admission. We try our best to keep our patients from having to admit into hospital but the circumstances macam ada ripple effect to each other. Covid to them mcm tkde apa. Tapi percayalah.. bila dah mencungap esok kat wad, manusia yang kau maki tu jugaklah yang akan jaga kau. Yg akan make sure you dpt mengucap syahadah sebelum dikomakan. Sebelum di-intubate. Cause you might not wake up.

Malaysians have a big problem with their perception. Dahlah pemahaman tak seberapa, ligat plak media sosial. Tak ke sia-lan je natijahnya. In my psychology module, it takes a whole semester to just study about it. It is not as simple as I talk to you, you understand. I show you, you get it. There’s a lot of process going behind that less than one millisecond human activity.

Netizens know alcohol, arak is haram. Tapi ketum and rokok haram tak boleh accept. Is it because they are limited to what they learn from school.

Netizens know it is a big sin to mempersekutukan Allah. To them, syirik is solely bomoh who does rituals with smoke, chicken and yellow cloth. But wearing an amulet is considered okay. Could this be a culture thing? is there a discrepancy between religion and culture assimilation.

Netizens know that mahjong, Las Vegas or Genting is judi. But is unable to see that cuci duit, scratch cards is also judi. Perhaps they have not had enough experience or knowledge to identify those activities as such.

Belum lagi citer pasal yang maki segala jenis benda dia boleh maki. Education, economy, legislation, freedom of speech… fenin sis.

Easily Kesian. Forgive them.

I thought I am a woman with a high ego. Only to find that later I will lower it down upon a Cold War with the husband or in the face of a confrontation with anybody, if it is for a greater good. contoh paling simple. Patient kata aku salah. aku tak salah. tapi aku minta maaf jugak. At that moment, I can feel my EGO sliding down to the ground, carik longkang, menyusur masuk sungai, pergi laut dan terapung sorang2.

Two things caught my attention this week on Facebook.

One of Azizan Osman and his 1 MILLION motivation speech. To be honest, I don’t mind him making money as a motivator for entrepreneur. It is in a way macam having someone to resurrect your inner ability and power to achieve more. Some argue that he doesn’t even own a business and yet is earning millions. Modal air liur je, they say. Well, looking at his from an introvert point of view, that air liur is his gift. So is his self esteem and confidence. And he is using that in a way that could earn him a living. My only problem is of him having to put out all this false credentials and title. You want a phd title, you work for it. Tu yang jadi masalahnya.

Similarly kalau Ebit Lew tetiba tak reti baca Quran rupanya, yang tuh pun aku akan marah.

In response to Azizan’s 1 MILLION story, I came across a screenshot of this guy on Twitter posting tweets of questions and answers, mostly with elements of body shaming. That is just a vile way of retaliating. Gemuk2 jangan mainlah. That is not nice. Consequently of courselah I rasa kesian kat Azizan Osman. Attacking someone based on how they look is just not professional.

Easily kesian. Forgive him.

The second thing that caught my attention was about Kluster Sivagangga. We all know already the index case, Nezar Mohamed Sabur Batcha has COVID-19, has been on trial, found guilty and issued punishments accordingly. On the news today, over 200 individuals affected by the ‘cluster’ will file a case against the Nasi Kandar owner, as advised by ‘a lawyer’ – to serve as a lesson for everybody else to not flunk the quarantine.

“Tuntutan saman ini dibuat berdasarkan nasihat peguam bagi memberi pengajaran kepada semua orang supaya tidak sewenang-wenangnya melanggar arahan kuarantin sehingga menyebabkan virus Covid-19 merebak,” katanya.

Question being..
“Peguam mana tu”

The man dah mengaku bersalah – has Covid 19, will be jailed and fined RM12K. I cannot help feeling kesian for this index case man. It’s like sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga. The motive behind this saman thing was said to stem from victims being shunned by outsiders and failed businesses. I can understand the business part but the psychological aspect – seriously, you would feel better when you win the saman a.k.a duit? People will welcome you in their homes and premises once they know you won some money?

Oh. lUpa. in some parts of the country – Cash is King.

The Nasi Kandar man’s decision to not quarantine himself is likely because of poor understanding of Covid-19 or the ‘tak apa’ attitude – the kind of attitude you see in patients in the clinic who refuses insulin or high blood pressure medications. He is already paying a hefty price for his ignorance. Ingat sedap duduk penjara? Kena denda? Aku pun tak cukup duit nak bayar denda RM12K.

I really hope that those who are greatly affected will reach an amicable decision with the Nasi Kandar owner. There is no denying that what he did was wrong but his intentions may not be malicious to begin with, more like ignorance. Perhaps selfish is the word.

Maybe the 200 people are similarly selfish. Elok sangat lah tuh. fuhh.. 200 people.. kena screen betul2 tu. Kang ada yang menunggang saman. At times like this, nak nasihat BERSABAR pun no use .. since they are already really pissed off.

Psychology, why?

Fridays in Klinik Kesihatan are generally more relaxed work-wise. Meaning there are no appointments for NCD cases. We still run the ‘special’ clinics such as Quit Smoking Clinic, TB reviews, Methadone clinics, PEKA B40 enrollments and OKU/Kebajikan applications. Sometimes we arrange for IUCD insertions to be scheduled on that day too. Case discussion meetings are also held on Friday on top of weekly CMEs. Pop up clinics are run at the nearby old folks home. Retens are counted for and other miscellaneous activities happen on Day 5 of the week. It’s about tying loose ends, closing the book, planning for the coming week only to re-open on Monday.

Last Friday, no one took leave hence we were on full manpower. This leaves me plenty of time to catch up on my part-time study modules and assignments. It was difficult not to garner attention as curious minds wondered what was keeping me busy on my laptop. I had wanted my study journey to be low-key among colleagues but eventually the news caught on. I get the usual questions and skeptical remarks on top of really astonishing comments like

” Why degree and not masters?”

“What can you do with psychology?”

“We can redirect our methadone patients to her now – she can counsel every single one of them with her psych thing”

“Why are you doing this? 4 years for a degree? Only? You should take up masters in family medicine”

“It’s good to study something LIGHT like this on the side”

That last comment set my adrenaline rushing but I managed to keep it under control. I felt like making a photocopy of my module and give Topic 1 to read. Let’s see if that person could get past Philosophy first.

But maybe it’s my fault for not being able to sell my reasons well. I see a world where in the future, people will not only go for an annual cholesterol check but also their state of mind. As in exploring what their motivators are, their stress factors, and what has changed in their life. Are the kids growing up alright? Are you aging well? Did someone die? How are you coping?

I see a future where professionals and maybe their children will drown in their intoxicating thoughts or stuck at obstacles in their personal growth. They will need someone (another trustworthy professional who gets it) to untangle the mess and help them walk through the challenge in their private time. Away from prying eyes. In fact, I see doctor friends who might need help to sort out their loved ones battling addiction or something along those lines.

I see a future where psychologists are seen on par as a medical doctor in Malaysia. The psychology union would become stronger and will get everyone certified as who they study to become – clinical psychologists, organizational psychologists, criminal psychologists, educational psychologists, etc.

I see stigma on psychological related matters decreasing. Communities are accepting this as just another clinical condition that needs attention.

I see a future where people are fighting to get into a psychology course because everything in life has got to do with psychology.

It is a grandiose thought. But it’s motivating to find myself joining this clan. On a more personal note, I want my children to see that you could become anything you want, anytime you want as long as you work hard for it. I want them to know that if something doesn’t work out for you, you can always leave and create another path to suit your circumstances. InsyaAllah, with Allah’s blessing – everything would be fine.

Despite the unwelcoming remarks, I am grateful to have the support of similar minded individuals who thinks highly of education regardless of what level. It keeps me going. Trying to get better each time. Like Liverpool. Ha ha ha.

My anecdotes surrounding my studies are blogged more on NotaMinci. Feel free to visit me there.