Unhealthy MInds

We tend to think that once we come across someone who has mental health issues, it would be manageable. We would be one of the few who knows how to go about it because we have read about it online and asked for expert advice. We would be empathetic and non-judgemental. We would be supportive of that person. This is mostly true but here’s a secret. That is only possible if the person in question is properly diagnosed by the doctors. Otherwise, trust me, it is quite a challenge.

I have had the opportunity to witness two professional colleagues suffering from the same medical diagnosis. Each of them of course, presented with different symptoms. One sought medical help and is under treatment whereas the other, well, we’re still in the dark of whether there was a diagnosis in the first place or if treatment is ongoing or defaulted. Each of them managed their mental health issues differently and it is the latter colleague that got me questioning things about life.

The Brain

Putting it simply, mental health issues stem from a problem within the brain. It could result from a structural defect, a transmission glitch or a hormonal imbalance. It disrupts the function of the brain thus its manifestations externally. Since the brain is the command centre of our body, it would be very difficult to control it if it goes haywire. why am I saying this? Because the contrast in behaviour is so drastic whenever the sick part of the person takes over. With reference to a person with bipolar here.

On good days, this colleague is a team player. A friendly and great employee. However, on really bad days – this colleague ignores everything. Work, courtesy phone calls, even when the big bosses call. Interestingly, this colleague seems to have ‘no insight’ that when you go M.I.A, it puts the burden of tasks and responsibility to another person on an ad-hoc basis. I couldn’t find a better word to ‘no insight’ but what I am trying to say is that when these people reach their weakest point – they are stuck in that hole and no amount of high office power could summon them out from the darkness. Unless they are on therapy and have learned ways to cope with the early signs of the condition. Otherwise, one would have to just wait for the phase to dissolve.

It would be easier for other people around this person to work around the problems, if they had known about the mental health issue. It’s like we could together anticipate when the next phase will be and that contingency plans can be implemented if the colleague goes M.I.a again. Otherwise, it would be perceived as just another worker being lackadaisical and irresponsible.

It did however made me realize one thing – that we are replaceable at work. No matter how important we are at work. If one day you end up in an accident and land in ICU, there will always be someone who is able to cover up for you.

The first few days of the menstrual cycle

Women experience the first few days of the menstrual cycle differently. Once I got over the PMS period, I would usually feel more relaxed and motivated to set my life straight, something like this huge burden flowing out of the uterus! I try not to give in to PMS but often, there is always something that gets on my nerves. Usually, work-related or husbands behaviour. For example, if I am not having PMS, I can tolerate those dirty dishes he left behind in the sink. During PMS, I cannot help it – I want a divorce!

However, a decade of being married to this 1.8m tall Malaccan man, taught me to rein my angry horses, keep calm and isolate myself. From the husband and the kids. So I wouldn’t regret saying things I don’t mean to all of them. I choose not to join them watching Netflix in the family room. I needed to harness my irritability wisely.

I cleared the fridge, threw away leftover food that has been in the containers for over 3 days, washed the dishes, wiped the tables, folded the many baskets of laundry and kept them away. As for my husband’s clothes, I put them on the spare bed in the guest room. He can look for his clothes, underwear and socks there since he can’t seem to keep his own wardrobe tidy. I don’t feel like doing it for him. Hate Mode is still at 50%. I took another shower around 930pm after all the sweat of doing the house chores. I switched on the air conditioner in the living room (I don’t give a shit if the bills go up – husband is paying for my misery), made myself a cup of tea and resumed my reading of Almond. It is a translated work of a Korean author that ARMY’s discovered from the programme BTS IN THE SOOP. Both Namjoon and Yoongi were reading it. I got influenced of course. I wonder if there is a new ‘book exposure’ in the second season.

Managed to finish the book the very same night and posted the feat on Weverse. I had 2 cheers out of the many possible millions of ARMY. Haha. By 11pm, I was calmer although I have kind of ‘deactivated’ my FB account at the time. I guess the blood flow helped a bit. Gosh. I also listened to loops of Over The Horizon by Suga on Youtube before bed. The Ally Mcbeal in me was playing the guitar part like a star!

I reactivated my FB account the next day. That would be today. HAhaha. The husband has already departed for work 187km away. He will be back in a few days. I think my mental health would be better when he comes home. In the meantime, I am continuing to keep the house in order. Decluttering the sofa, checking on my fresh fruit and vegetable supply. Paying my bills and daycare fees on time. I even have time to upload preloved books on my Shopee bookshop. Feel free to visit Moon Chamber – my 2nd hand virtual bookstore. If my energy keeps buzzing, I might do a voiceover recording and upload it on Fiverr or one of those buy me coffee sites.

I am halfway through editing my silent vlog for Youtube – I just need a few more footage. It should be up in the next 2 weeks. Well, that sounds very energetic and focused. It may happen or may not as I might just channel that motivation into mopping the kitchen floor in a few days.