9th year Wedding Anniversary

I have probably said it before. As a wife, the strongest weapon one could have at hand, apart from a supportive mother in law on your side, is DOA. For it is only He, The Almighty who holds someones heart and have the ability to make it go towards the intended direction. Believing in the Divine power helps me, in a way, set my mind that I am still in control of my life. My destiny. With Allah’s will.

There have been times when I am in despair thinking, “why is my husband so obstinate like a goat?” Especially on matters where the black is not as clear as the white and us being in the grey, trying to prove our points. Not all issues have practical solutions to it. Even if there are, it may not be ideal. Or sometimes a problem need not be solved. It just requires time and empathy for it to dissolve and go away. Being married, you need to choose which battles to fight and win. Or in my case, let him win (first) and for Allah to teach him a lesson at another time. Ha ha.

9 years to me is a milestone. It is one of the longest relationship I’ve ever had with another human being after my parents & siblings. Things get more challenging with time but we grow to be more mature and intuitive of each others feelings. I am grateful that my husband, despite being pissed at me at times, has never risen his voice or his hands towards me. His silent treatment says it all! If only I could return the gesture but then I keep finding myself, the one who is perceived as having the patience of a Buddha by people outside my home, as someone with a completely different persona at home. It’s like to the world I’m Dr Jekyll and with my husband, I could easily morph into a Mrs Hyde. I don’t scream but I tend to scowl, sulk and express some sort of fury emoji. LOL

Our conversations evolve more around the kids and work. We don’t really talk about just us. This is something I envy from the Western husband-wife relationships. There is still a lot of I love You going around or at least a ‘that baju kurung looks nice on you’. Well, I guess I’d have to start that with him first and cross fingers, he wouldn’t think I’m dying from an illness or something. Work related talks are also upgrading in terms of knowledge and medical terms. I have to keep up with these intelligent exchanges and if suddenly, I struck a dumb moment – I’d just throw up a random, interesting facts of the world that my husband would not know like ‘did you know the couple who starred in Quiet Place’ is a real husband-wife off screen? ‘

Yeh.

HA ha ha ha.

We celebrated our wedding anniversary with the kids of course. A trip to Langkawi and Penang which of course will be featured in this blog soon. Perhaps next year, if our marriage still holds, InsyaAllah, we could celebrate it with a kenduri doa selamat and perhaps, a meal for just the two of us?

The perfect path by Allah. You just need to find it. And pray that you find it.

I believe that there is always A Reason For Everything. That we are here for a bigger purpose. For a certain purpose. It’s Qada’ and Qadar. It’s the Circle of Life to some. These demonstrations of Power and Knowing All from Allah comes in simple ways and sometimes it comes by in a difficult scenario.

The Attire

Once, my mom gave me this beautiful green top from Indonesia, a colour that I may not choose for myself but willing to wear if its a gift from someone. Just a blouse waiting to match with a proper bottom and headscarf. It turns out that I already have the other 2 items randomly matched to other pieces of clothing in my wardrobe.I then realize that when this particular outfit was put together, it came out to be a perfect attire. Despite the scarf was something I bought a year ago and the pants, a choice I’ve had since my maternity days – when the time is right, these clothings served as the perfect choice for the blouse at that given moment.

While on its own with different dressing combinations, the headscarf may not appear outstanding. However with time and the correct moment, it changes its fate to become a must item for the new attire with the green top as they go so well with each other. So I trust that if now I feel useless, less successful as compared to my colleagues, with time I will blossom to the purpose I am meant to be. Until then, I should persevere, work hard , pray and trust Allah.

The Cesarean section

A pregnant lady had an immunocompromised condition. Under unclear circumstances, she was not the best high risk pregnant patient as she frequently defaulted appointments with her designated midwife . It comes to a point where she falsified some of her medical details in her antenatal book which unfortunately to the unknown, she appeared as another normal pregnant lady.

One day she went into early labor and went to the nearest clinic. The medical staff at this rural clinic had no idea she was a high risk patient and trusted the records completely on what was written in her book. They managed her accordingly and she was sent to the tertiary centre for further care. We have no idea what the intentions of this lady is but Allah was Kind and Most Merciful to the medical staff and also the baby. There was an indication for an emergency cesarean section and the baby came out safely.

It was only later that a close friend of hers disclosed to the nursing staff that she was immunocompromised which means medical staff needs to practice strict universal precaution on top implementing specific standard of care towards high risk patients. Of course investigations into the matter ensued but what intrigued me more was the fact that Allah knows best and that He made it possible to protect everyone including the newborn baby who was involved with the delivery.

Over Sea

My uncle who was stricken by renal cancer with metastases just passed away . He was in Sarawak. His brother, my father is 620 miles away in Selangor. If he had passed more than 3 years ago, I don’t think my parents would be able to fly back to Kuching and attend the funeral in such short notice.

However, they were able to do that today as they learnt the death of my uncle at 715PM and boarded the flight at 900PM using MAS Airlines. How was it possible? Because they had a son in law K, who works there, in MAS for the past 1 year . K’s story of how he ended there was not straight forward. Nor was the story of how he became my brother in law as he fought for his love (my sister) despite the many objections from both sides of the family. His life was full of trials and tribulations since he was very young. He is now stable and is serving well in MAS and to both of my parents. Because he works with MAS, he and his family were entitled to certain benefits and privileges. Amongst them, cheaper flight tickets.. and that was what my parents get to benefit from as well.

Allah has planned it so well to get the family to come together and love one another. Who would have thought that my brother in law would work with MAS one day as one of the ground staffs. But he did. For he worked hard. He prayed harder and asked from Allah good things. Best things in life. And the best plan of it all was that the timing of his death was on where the next day it is a public holiday. Hence my dad need not to worry about requesting leave from his superiors.

We need to sangka baik with Allah. For we know we are already given a head start to put one foot in heaven because we believe in HIM. We just need to prove that we are worth His Love and Trust, and that we could swing the other foot into heaven by doing good deeds in this life. Trust His plans. It is the most complete, the best path and personalized for each and everyone of us.

Belasungkawa

Belasungkawa = Condolences

A couple is feeling very sad today. They have been married happily for more than 20 years. They raised 4 wonderful, successful children who grew up to become very useful citizens to the country.

Today one of their daughters passed away having suffered serious injuries from an accident. She went through multiple surgical procedures to save her life but in the end, after nearly one month in hospital –  she succumbed to her condition. She left behind a dear husband and her loving parents.

And just a year ago these loving parents also lost their son to an accident. Him, leaving behind a wife, his children and yes, his loving parents.

“It’s very sad. To see your children, both of your children go before you”, Mr Husband said, “I would be very sad.Very sad” He looked at Ee and pat his head.

This couple is family. It’s heartbreaking to see them g oing through this very difficult test. Especially at this age – like my parents age,  to lose both of their adult children within such a short interval. Anak tetap anak no matter how old they are.

Al-Fatihah.

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Bonding over rebonding

It was my sister’s idea to get together one weekend to just ‘do our  hair’. Postpone it any longer people would think that we are related to Mak Limah from Kampung Pisang. Both of us planned to get Rebonding for our locks of miserable hair. Mother on the other hand, had a haircut + treatment. This particular saloon we went to was called Lisa Hair  Saloon. It has 2 branches. We went to the one at Putra Heights as opposed to the one in Bandar Saujana Putra.

It was a 3 hour job for ours and just above 2 hours for mother.

The hairdresser gave us a good head, neck and back massage. Like wow.. I want to keep her. Her superior managed to persuade us to go home with a few hair related purchases. It comes with a free gift of course.

Rebonding = RM 200.00 x 2

Shampoo + Conditioner = RM 50.00 (after discount) x 2

FREE 2 Travel Sets + 1 FREE Hair Serum

Wash + Cut + Treatment  = RM 78.00

Post saloon session we had a hearty lunch. Gossiping over stuff. Catching up on things. Then a phone call came through for my mother. It was a friend of hers. My sister and I could tell that she has a wonderful day as she kept saying to her friend that she went to the saloon with her daughters on a replay every 5 mins or so. ha ha ha.

That was when I realized that even though to me it was just a brief ‘buat rambut’ session – to my mother it meant the world. See how joy can come in the little things we do or say? Try bringing some coconut shake on your next visit. 😛

Preschool Days

I find it hard to believe that my flesh and blood is going to kindergarten today. I finally got to meet the lovely Teacher Zara who was Mr Husbands kindie teacher as well. Imagine the experience she accumulated over the years!!

ee tadika

I still remember part of my preschool days and it was awesome. I went to Tadika Sri Keria in Kuching – I sometimes wonder if it was supposed to be Ceria instead of Keria. It was a lovely preschool on top of a small hill at the roundabout. Back then, popular pre-schools were montessori based. Mine was I think, normal. 

My teachers were called Mrs Hamid Bugo and a particular Mrs Bakhtiar who we addressed as Mrs B. We had the usual kindy fun activities like playing with water cans, treasure hunting, hide and seek. Then there were things more academic like collecting stars for your homework well done or for good behaviour. We had ‘intensive’ maths class as well, as we sat in a circle with our workbooks and Mrs Bugo would go around the table and tick our answers as we solve the problem. Hence, we felt pressured to complete at least an equation before our turn came once again.

I once had to have my forehead stitched because I played ‘ice skating’ with my friends using socks as blades and talcum powder sprinkled to the parquet floor as ice. It was a lesson well learnt.

The best teachers are the ones who see you as a person, recognise your interest and encourage you to pursue on. I will always be fond of Mrs Bakhtiar. My dad was transferred to Semenanjung due to work commitment hence the whole family followed suit. Knowing that I love books – she gave me a really big book as a gift. It costs her MYR 70++ at the time which was considered to be very expensive.

the book meant more than a gift. It meant ‘I love you and take care!’