Engagement Weekend

Engagement ceremonies are so lavish nowadays that it’s interesting to see that amidst the practice of sharing everything on social media – there are still families that appreciate and practice the ways of asking a girl for their hand in marriage according to the Malay custom.

We had the merisik ceremony a few months ago and it seemed that the plans changed. The engagement and akad ceremony will be done separately. Hence, our recent trip to the my BIL’s future wife’s house last weekend.

Of course the entourage needs to stop for breakfast first. We had Murtabak Cheese at one of the stalls along the roadside. It was a very very very long wait. Might as well have tosai at mamak tesco.

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Ninie rocked her Wakanda fashion. She kinda looked like a Smurfette herself.

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We had the elders doing the talking while us younger uns waiting to eat. HA HA HA. I mean, the cheese tarts and rice on the table was so enticing. My eldest brother-in-law stepped in as the spokesperson for our little group which was awesome. I could imagine my husband taking the same spot, perhaps in a few years to seek the hand of marriage of the chosen maiden of my brothers. LOL.

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The ceremony was officiated by my mother in law putting a ring on my BIL’s fiance. It was a very simple ceremony. No pelamin. No professional photographers. Just us. In a way, this cuts cost. They could use the money to build their lives as newlyweds soon. This is also in line with not only the Malay culture but also the Islamic teachings where bertunang = engagement is best shared among families and small circle of friends only as to prevent shame if the relationship does not work out.

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The Lovebirds

Then, we ate.

InsyaAllah, the akad nikah is in 2 weeks. This is like an equivalent to say, marriage vows in a Christian wedding and the Saptapadi in a Hindu ceremony. It makes the Husband and Wife relationship official.

Alhamdulilah. Congratulations. 

Danials Graduation Day. A Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham day.

Today was a day of Cerekarama crossing with Hindustan. In short, lotsa drama happened with regards to my younger brother’s graduation ceremony. Without divulging TMI, lets just say it started when nobody in our family knew that he was to receive his scroll today.

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Danial did not inform anybody. He did not tell a single soul. And he is not even a social media sort of person. He enjoys Youtube, PS4 and video games. And those graphic stuff he does on his computer. But that was it. So of course, when he suddenly told my mum to get ready for his graduation  – MOther freaked out. Dad got emotionally charged and well… this is where the TMI would come in. I’d have to keep mum. lOl.

Its like ,

HOW COULD YOU KEEP SUCH IMPORTANT INFORMATION LIKE YOUR GRADUATION, ALL TO YOURSELF? SHOULD IT NOT BE EXCITING??

Man.. he could be a priest. People could confess a great sin and he’d probably bring it to his own grave. He could be of value to PDRM’s special branch even. All of us honestly had no idea that he kept such GREAT NEWS and he gave away no clue whatsoever!!

So he definitely deserved a page in my HoboMinci.

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As I was journaling, I was distracted to another topic in my head. Obviously Danial’s actions invited reactions and opinions from some people. Some comments were interesting, some were just damn harsh. yalah.. macam kau sorang je kan ada parenting method yang berjaya. 

I couldn’t help thinking when was the last time I spoke badly of my parents in law or my siblings in law. Or my husbands first degree relatives for example. And that was when I realized that NO, I have never done such thing. Rasanya tak pernah lagi I tell my husband in the face that I hate his relative or family. Or I think they should do better in certain things. Or what they are doing is not welcomed nor appreciated. Belum lagi part nak layan egoentricity and superiority complex masing2. So it’s either hadam or walk away.

Cause you never know if your words would hurt these souls. Kita bukannya nak jumpa hari ni je. For all you know, we are stuck for life or will bump into each other in the future where your circumstances may be less fortunate than how you were. Masa tu, the only thing left to do is for you to eat your words.

While I allow opinions and constructive criticism towards my flesh and blood, there is this very FINE LINE that you don’t cross especially when it starts to become disrespectful and is just mere dissing. Which fine line you may ask?

Tengok, susah kan nak decide fine line tu kat mana? So mulut jangan macam longkang masa nak komen.

Ninie is 1

When I carried her in my womb, I had an inkling that this could be a girl but it wasn’t really confirmed until I finally saw her during my Caesarean section. She is turning 1  years old today. Some say she is a spitting image of my mom. To me, she is a mixture of my face and my husband’s.

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Haneem meaning penuh kasih sayang

Raising a girl is more than just putting pretty clothes on her. It is a lot of hard work from a moms perspective. I am not saying raising a boy is easy, it’s just that the ‘syllabus’ is different. LOL. If I could pre-programme Ninie’s virtues – my top 3 would be Kind, Generous and Intelligent.

Kind so she would not say or do things that could harm someone elses feelings or well being. That she would choose her words carefully and react accordingly. So she would always be pleasing to Allah, to us and those who love her.

Generous so she can share if she has the means to do so. To be thoughtful of other peoples plight. And in order to give more, she would strive to have enough in the first place. And work hard for it. Which is closely linked to my final trait.

Intelligent. A young lady with a sharp mind can never go wrong. With that brain of hers, InsyaAllah she is going to use it for the benefit of her family, the ummah and humanity as a whole.

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But these virtues do not just come by on its own. It will depend on the whole village especially the parents to lay down those bricks to shape out what type of person their children will be. A daughter should have the best of what her parents can provide and this puts me in a big, big shoe. If you read the news nowadays or just scroll down the newsfeed on Facebook, there is a lot of crimes, misdemeanour, liberalism and hatred in the current society that one cannot help feeling worried for their family members. Me too, included.

Which is why it is important to include ALllah in your daily life, your decision making etc. For it is He that will listen to you and guide you through life. We can never know the future but I pray that all will be well biiznillah.I can already imagine the hurdles that Ninie  will be going through as a young girl, a teenager and later a young adult. I have had uncertainties as whether I could be the best role model for her.

Reflecting on the latter, perhaps that is why Allah bestowed upon me a daughter. We all have our own pathways in getting closer to Allah. Some through wealth, others a good career, several through building a family, a few through Death or predicaments in everyday life. Mine is through Haneem (ninie). Knowing me, who wants to be the best version of myself to both Hazeeq and Haneem – InsyaAllah, I would take steps to improve myself as not only a mum, but a muslimah as a whole.

I want them to see me who uses the talent/skills Allah give me towards doing something useful. I want them to know that I care about not only our own family but other people who needs help as well. I want them to see that I use good words in my conversations and that I always smile  the company of people, even amongst those I don’t really like. I want them to learn how to manage their emotions, their time and monetary resources by example. In short, I want them to be proud of me as a mum.

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That they would confide in me when they encounter problems. They would shower me with endless hugs and kisses. That they know I am not just a mom, but I am also a doctor who knows how to have a good time. ha ha. Above all, I want them to pray for my well being always as evidence that they sayang me a lotttttt.

Happy birthday Ninie. I hope you grow up to be a beautiful lady loved by Allah and his ummah. InsyaAllah. 

Nenek Mummy missed Ninie

When I was a student in Manchester, I would give my mom a call almost every weekend. she would do most of the talking of course and I’ll be ”ummm” or “oohhhh” for the one hour call or so. It was one of those 1 min = 1pence callrates.

When I became a houseman (HO) – the calls became less frequent but compensated writh a text message on every other day.

When I became a medical officer and got married, the communications vary from one form of media to another. I think we used to have Viber Calls. Now it’s Watsapp. But not as frequent as my calls in Manchester.

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Earlier last week, I sent my MOm a video and a pic of my daughter. A few days later, my dad sent me a Whatsapp. My mom missed her granddaughter a lot. She was replaying her videos almost all the time and talking to her pictures. So I told my husband that we really needed to make that weekend trip to Jenjarom.

I try to visit my parents at least once a month but eversince I had Ninie, I haven’t been keeping up with my vows. I felt guilty. Ninie is now 5 months and this is the first time she’s sleeping over at Nenek Mummy’s house. Prior to this, it is my parents who have been doing the visiting to Melaka to see us. So Minci.. please do better. Jangan buat hati Mummy nangis rindu2 OK.

Hotel Tanjong Vista, Terengganu .. a 3 star hotel. Really?

Work and leisure can come hand in hand. Especially when the husband is the one doing the work stuff like going to a conference whilst the wifey gets to explore her surroundings. teeeheee.. we did just that last month as we make an 8 hour drive to Terengganu.

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Mr Husband chose Tanjong Vista Hotel because it promised a lot of good things. Their selling points included a pool for the kids, a breakfast buffet to ease the early morning hunger pangs, free parking for in house guest and a strategic location to most of the places you need to go.

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I have to admit. They delivered these wonderful things without fail.

I too loved that they have an ironing board in each room. And a fresh smelling sejadah (praying mat) because most public prayer mat macam kusam and kepam rite? Most importantly they have a mini fridge which is like awesome for a 3 star hotel. And can we please give them a round of applause for complimentary drinks in the lobby and daily newspaper!!

The location is just great as it is nearby tourist attractions like Pasar Payang and the beach with loads of stalls and eateries. Finding local delicacies is not a problem. there was not a single stall in Terengganu where the food taste awful .Like wow.. kitak urang tok keturunan chef istana dolok marek ka apa? he he.. 

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Even the hotel breakfast buffet was commendable. Such delish nasi dagang for breakfast. And a whole lot more variety befit of a 3 star hotel.

Of course there were minor glitches. For instance;

  1. free but limited parking space. So if you happen to be staying there during a conference or something – be prepared to leave your vehicle outside the hotel premises. You can still see your car from the hotel room window but if something happens – you can only manage an ‘oh nooo’ from your room
  2. customer service information may vary from one personnel to another – to make it simple, be nice and just talk to the most senior person in charge. They have no malicious intent on charging you extra. They just don’t get that you need separate receipts for each room.
  3. Housekeeping may arrive at your room a bit late. Even if you’ve been out for almost the whole day. They were nice to apologize for not being able to make your room on time especially when you have soiled diapers that need to be disposed off. We make do by just allowing the team to get rid of the rubbish and replenish the supplies which include shower gels and bottled water.

Despite the above, it was still a good stay. it was a 3 star hotel on the high side. LOlz..