Plan A to Z…

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” 

Robert Frost

I thought I had it all figured out. I am after all the architect of my own life when it comes to having a career.

Plan A:

Complete housemanship. Continue MOship in the Anaesthetic Department. Pursue a Masters in Anaesthesia programme to become a specialist. Then subspecialize perhaps in Paeds Anaesthesia or as an intensivist. Yalah… level adrenaline aku tok nak low abis. susah mok panik. sampe specialist gik bingung.

However, half way through HOship.. I met Mr Husband. Fell in love, got married in the speed of light. Constructed Plan B.

Plan B:

Complete housemanship. Continue MOship in the Anaesthetic Department. Pursus a Masters in Anaesthesia programme to become a specialist. Have kids and consider to specialise in something.

However, half way through marriage – conceived Baby Zeeq. Slashed Plan B.. came up with Plan C.

Plan C:

Complete housemanship. Continue MOship in the Anaesthetic Department. Follow Mr Husband back to his hometown. Continue MO ship in the Anaesthetic department there. Pursue a Masters in Anaesthesia programme to become a specialist. Then subspecialize perhaps in Paeds Anaesthesia or as an intensivist.

or

Plan D:

Complete housemanship. Continue MOship in the Anaesthetic Department. Follow Mr Husband back to his hometown. Continue MO ship in the Anaesthetic department there. Have at least another kid. Pursue a Masters in Anaesthesia programme to become a specialist perhaps once Ive got a baby girl. Then subspecialize perhaps in Paeds Anaesthesia or as an intensivist.

What happened now is;

Ive completed housemanship i.e served 2 years in East Msia. Then got married and had my baby in East Msia. After that, migrated to my husbands hometown in West Msia only to continue my service post maternity leave in a district hospital. Having being a common MO and great working environment and of course the lack of will to study, I have now become ‘tawar hati’ to pursue a career in anaesthesia.

I suppose its time to draft Plan E,F, G,H et cetera..

The reason

“Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything”

PARIS HILTON

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I experienced one of those epiphany moments today. Like Allah was talking to me, responding to my dilemma and questions through my thought processes. The message was profound, engaging and helped me to understand better about myself and other women.

I often wondered why some women still choose to stay with their abusive husband. Or willing to put up with the substandard treatment from their husband.

Today, I understood why.

They were hoping that the bad things will take a turn to be better. Or back to the good times they once had. Yes, hope. So they stayed day after day, then months and years.. hoping that the next morning their husband would turn on a new leaf and be the kind young lad they once knew. That he will not lay a hand on her. That he will not verbally abuse her, hurting her emotionally  and shattering her confidence. Thats why they stayed on and took in all the negative forces into their marriage.

I also wondered if I would have the courage to quit my job one day and become a full time housewife to raise my kids and care for my husband. After all, Mr husband has the financial capabilities to support the household.

I was confident of being able to say ‘yes’ until I began to question, if I would instead have the courage to keep my current job and care for my family at the same time. For it was at that rare moment that I was able to see my job as my lifeline. Without it, I would loose my independence, my voice, my courage to be who I am. That is unless Im able to generate actively my own income on top of being a housewife. My job was my way out of a mess should it happen (nauzubillah) one day.

Picture this. No job means no ‘own’ friends. No money of your own. No outside interest. Well, thats the basic.

Assuming one day Mr Husband wants to take on a second wife. I would be tied into giving in…since Im financially dependent on him.  Worse, if one day Mr Husband decided to leave me, now what will I give my children to eat. It will not be easy to start working again and starting at the bottoom of the ladder especially when I am pretty much on the top of the food chain.

So yes, my questions were answered.

Take home message : Work , like your husband is going to leave you one day to rot.

A review of my 5 year plan

      “When planning for a year, plant corn. When planning for a decade, plant trees. When planning for life, train and educate people.”
 Chinese Proverbs
 

My 5 year plan starts from 2009 – 2013. Looking at it, I may need to have a new 5 year plan because most of it has been achieved whilst some render too far-fetched. I divided my plan into 3 different categories : Career, Family and Personal Growth.

 
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Scanning through the Career category, it seems that the goals still needs to be polished in view of my increased responsibility as a Medical Officer (MO). If I were to still get the opportunity to serve in the anaes dept in Malacca, it’ll be great. But what if they chuck me to a district hospital? Or send me to a department I resent. I might just change my choice of career then. A domestic goddess maybe?

The Family category didnt seem that challenging at all. There wasnt any extra spice or value to add to our relationship. Apart from getting married of course. heh. Hurmmm.. *brainstorming activities*.

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Alhamdulilah, I not only managed to open a TH account for myself, but also for Baby Zeeq. I was a tad disappointment to see that the STF Alumni has become inactive for some reason. I had hoped to contribute back to the school at least in a financial way.

Yup, I definitely need to draft up a new 5 year plan ( 2012 – 2016 ). Still looking for ways to make my plan better in terms of quality and such. Suggestions most welcomed.