Engagement ceremonies are so lavish nowadays that it’s interesting to see that amidst the practice of sharing everything on social media – there are still families that appreciate and practice the ways of asking a girl for their hand in marriage according to the Malay custom.
We had the merisik ceremony a few months ago and it seemed that the plans changed. The engagement and akad ceremony will be done separately. Hence, our recent trip to the my BIL’s future wife’s house last weekend.
Of course the entourage needs to stop for breakfast first. We had Murtabak Cheese at one of the stalls along the roadside. It was a very very very long wait. Might as well have tosai at mamak tesco.
Ninie rocked her Wakanda fashion. She kinda looked like a Smurfette herself.
We had the elders doing the talking while us younger uns waiting to eat. HA HA HA. I mean, the cheese tarts and rice on the table was so enticing. My eldest brother-in-law stepped in as the spokesperson for our little group which was awesome. I could imagine my husband taking the same spot, perhaps in a few years to seek the hand of marriage of the chosen maiden of my brothers. LOL.
The ceremony was officiated by my mother in law putting a ring on my BIL’s fiance. It was a very simple ceremony. No pelamin. No professional photographers. Just us. In a way, this cuts cost. They could use the money to build their lives as newlyweds soon. This is also in line with not only the Malay culture but also the Islamic teachings where bertunang = engagement is best shared among families and small circle of friends only as to prevent shame if the relationship does not work out.
Then, we ate.
InsyaAllah, the akad nikah is in 2 weeks. This is like an equivalent to say, marriage vows in a Christian wedding and the Saptapadi in a Hindu ceremony. It makes the Husband and Wife relationship official.