For 1st time enrollee only. There are other memberships available.
Ask me how.
For 1st time enrollee only. There are other memberships available.
Ask me how.
I am trying very hard to console myself right now. And not to regret the choices I made for 2018. But it is soooo hard my friends. I have been crying alone in my study area for the past 3 nights or so. My husband and kids are usually asleep by then. I feel 2018 is very overwhelming and yet I am expected to be calm and on top of my game. All the time.
Recently, I have to be patient with a lot of people. My husband who is gradually acquiring his Set of Attitude as a Specialist. My parents who are just, I don’t know, hmph. My brother who do not want to be helped. My work demands and related things I still struggle to understand. To them, it’s just another day. Another conversation. But to me, at the other end, I had to play along. Reserve my opinions. Suppress my anger and frustration. Because an honest comment is not everyone of them needs right now. My way of thinking and working stuff out is not the way ‘successful people’ do things. I have to buat pekak to certain condescending words as well. In the end, I yang makan hati. I yang mengalir air mata. Without them knowing it.
And it doesn’t get any better when today, I missed my son’s special occasion to receive 1st prize in his year. He came out top and I was not there to see him on stage. Because I was at work. I just hope he understands that Mummy did not have a choice. That I will try better for his next big day. I will plan my leave better.
I try to be composed and collected as a wife and mother. As a female medical doctor. As a daughter. I have been trying to shut down negative thoughts. Satan’s evil whispers. Urging me to run and leave. Not so much as jumping a bridge or killing myself. But to run. Leave the state. Like park my car at a far place, hitch a ride and just go missing. Or use my passport to cross the border ,go missing and resume a new identity. Or as simple as not arriving to work one day, only to be realized by people who care that I’m missing 8 hours later. If ada orang kisahlah.
2018 was meant to be a year of change for the better. At the moment, I still feel that there’s a lot to manage. I find I cry more this year hence I searched for Allah more this year. Asking for His Mercy, His Benevolence and His Rahmat. I have a problem in trusting people hence it is difficult to confide in someone. And it hurts a lot when you thought your husband, your supposed best friend and confidante has belief’s not consistent with yours.
Anyway, this is just a phase. Don’t take it seriously.
Perhaps this is PMS. A horrible PMS. Or a brain tumour affecting my emotions. InsyaAllah, I will feel and force myself to feel better in the next 24 hours. Patience my heart. Sabr.
When I carried her in my womb, I had an inkling that this could be a girl but it wasn’t really confirmed until I finally saw her during my Caesarean section. She is turning 1 years old today. Some say she is a spitting image of my mom. To me, she is a mixture of my face and my husband’s.
Raising a girl is more than just putting pretty clothes on her. It is a lot of hard work from a moms perspective. I am not saying raising a boy is easy, it’s just that the ‘syllabus’ is different. LOL. If I could pre-programme Ninie’s virtues – my top 3 would be Kind, Generous and Intelligent.
Kind so she would not say or do things that could harm someone elses feelings or well being. That she would choose her words carefully and react accordingly. So she would always be pleasing to Allah, to us and those who love her.
Generous so she can share if she has the means to do so. To be thoughtful of other peoples plight. And in order to give more, she would strive to have enough in the first place. And work hard for it. Which is closely linked to my final trait.
Intelligent. A young lady with a sharp mind can never go wrong. With that brain of hers, InsyaAllah she is going to use it for the benefit of her family, the ummah and humanity as a whole.
But these virtues do not just come by on its own. It will depend on the whole village especially the parents to lay down those bricks to shape out what type of person their children will be. A daughter should have the best of what her parents can provide and this puts me in a big, big shoe. If you read the news nowadays or just scroll down the newsfeed on Facebook, there is a lot of crimes, misdemeanour, liberalism and hatred in the current society that one cannot help feeling worried for their family members. Me too, included.
Which is why it is important to include ALllah in your daily life, your decision making etc. For it is He that will listen to you and guide you through life. We can never know the future but I pray that all will be well biiznillah.I can already imagine the hurdles that Ninie will be going through as a young girl, a teenager and later a young adult. I have had uncertainties as whether I could be the best role model for her.
Reflecting on the latter, perhaps that is why Allah bestowed upon me a daughter. We all have our own pathways in getting closer to Allah. Some through wealth, others a good career, several through building a family, a few through Death or predicaments in everyday life. Mine is through Haneem (ninie). Knowing me, who wants to be the best version of myself to both Hazeeq and Haneem – InsyaAllah, I would take steps to improve myself as not only a mum, but a muslimah as a whole.
I want them to see me who uses the talent/skills Allah give me towards doing something useful. I want them to know that I care about not only our own family but other people who needs help as well. I want them to see that I use good words in my conversations and that I always smile the company of people, even amongst those I don’t really like. I want them to learn how to manage their emotions, their time and monetary resources by example. In short, I want them to be proud of me as a mum.
That they would confide in me when they encounter problems. They would shower me with endless hugs and kisses. That they know I am not just a mom, but I am also a doctor who knows how to have a good time. ha ha. Above all, I want them to pray for my well being always as evidence that they sayang me a lotttttt.
Happy birthday Ninie. I hope you grow up to be a beautiful lady loved by Allah and his ummah. InsyaAllah.
“Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you”
We all know the usual essential oils (EO). The safe ones that we are most familiar with are for instance Lavendar, Lemon and Peppermint. You can never go wrong with these scents. Regardless which company you prefer.
If only I discovered this oil sooner when I was working in the Emergency Unit in the hospital, I think my stress levels would be lowered by at least 50% at bedtime. It is because I was on my feet almost all the time and the leg sores were aggravated when I was pregnant. Now that I am in a clinic setting, I work less on my feet but my back still hurts from the long hours of sitting down and holding the bladder. LOL.
Deep Blue from how I understand it, is a Soothing Blend. Perfect for a massage after a long day at work. Or an essential item in your gym/zumba bag. In a way, when you run out that LMS Cream you have to beg for your doctor for, or that minyak kuda you have trouble looking for – consider Deep Blue. DO NOT CONSUME IT! RUB IT!
I have been using Deep Blue to massage my feet before going to bed at night. I personally love that minty, airy, tingling sensation it leaves on my feet. I would be fast asleep in less than 5 minutes because it is really soothing. Not surprising as the blends have an assortment of ingredients such as peppermint, wintergreen, Ylang Ylang, Cammomile to name a few.
If I need to use it to massage my lower back, which is a lot more surface area – I will dilute it with the Fractionated Coconut Oil (FCO). It’s safer to apply on more sensitive skin. Furthermore, it comes in a 5ml bottle , so of course I would like it to last longer before I buy another bottle. Hehe..
Fun Fact : The oil is seriously blue.
Sounds ordinary. Normal. But the effect is immense and refreshing. We all know its common benefits. And famous uses in toothpastes, breathmints, mocktail, in tea.
But here is what I discovered for myself. MYSELF.
When I diffuse peppermint as a single oil, meaning I don’t add in other oils – I can feel the minty freshness sticking on my face. Like candy. In a good way. Especially when the diffuser is very near to me – like on my study table while I get some after work studying done.
Another eureka moment was when I diffused peppermint while doing my household chores. My chores can easily take up one day which means I will not shower until I get them done. Can you imagine how terrible it can get for a lady to smell in the hot, humid weather of Malaysia doing chores in her kaftan? Dengan peluhnya. Tengiknyaa. Until Peppermint came into my life. Blessed. You feel fresh despite the sweat because the particles diffused somehow got stuck to you. So you would feel alright delaying the shower for a bit just so you can finish your chores.
Tak payah mandi, diffuse saja peppermint. HA HA HA.
I have made orders for a more citrus-y selection next month in my November LRP. I hope I could find more favourite oils to use. I am aiming to transform my guest bathroom into a wellness-spa like ambience fueled by doTERRA products. We will see how that goes. It should be a fun project.