The perfect path by Allah. You just need to find it. And pray that you find it.

I believe that there is always A Reason For Everything. That we are here for a bigger purpose. For a certain purpose. It’s Qada’ and Qadar. It’s the Circle of Life to some. These demonstrations of Power and Knowing All from Allah comes in simple ways and sometimes it comes by in a difficult scenario.

The Attire

Once, my mom gave me this beautiful green top from Indonesia, a colour that I may not choose for myself but willing to wear if its a gift from someone. Just a blouse waiting to match with a proper bottom and headscarf. It turns out that I already have the other 2 items randomly matched to other pieces of clothing in my wardrobe.I then realize that when this particular outfit was put together, it came out to be a perfect attire. Despite the scarf was something I bought a year ago and the pants, a choice I’ve had since my maternity days – when the time is right, these clothings served as the perfect choice for the blouse at that given moment.

While on its own with different dressing combinations, the headscarf may not appear outstanding. However with time and the correct moment, it changes its fate to become a must item for the new attire with the green top as they go so well with each other. So I trust that if now I feel useless, less successful as compared to my colleagues, with time I will blossom to the purpose I am meant to be. Until then, I should persevere, work hard , pray and trust Allah.

The Cesarean section

A pregnant lady had an immunocompromised condition. Under unclear circumstances, she was not the best high risk pregnant patient as she frequently defaulted appointments with her designated midwife . It comes to a point where she falsified some of her medical details in her antenatal book which unfortunately to the unknown, she appeared as another normal pregnant lady.

One day she went into early labor and went to the nearest clinic. The medical staff at this rural clinic had no idea she was a high risk patient and trusted the records completely on what was written in her book. They managed her accordingly and she was sent to the tertiary centre for further care. We have no idea what the intentions of this lady is but Allah was Kind and Most Merciful to the medical staff and also the baby. There was an indication for an emergency cesarean section and the baby came out safely.

It was only later that a close friend of hers disclosed to the nursing staff that she was immunocompromised which means medical staff needs to practice strict universal precaution on top implementing specific standard of care towards high risk patients. Of course investigations into the matter ensued but what intrigued me more was the fact that Allah knows best and that He made it possible to protect everyone including the newborn baby who was involved with the delivery.

Over Sea

My uncle who was stricken by renal cancer with metastases just passed away . He was in Sarawak. His brother, my father is 620 miles away in Selangor. If he had passed more than 3 years ago, I don’t think my parents would be able to fly back to Kuching and attend the funeral in such short notice.

However, they were able to do that today as they learnt the death of my uncle at 715PM and boarded the flight at 900PM using MAS Airlines. How was it possible? Because they had a son in law K, who works there, in MAS for the past 1 year . K’s story of how he ended there was not straight forward. Nor was the story of how he became my brother in law as he fought for his love (my sister) despite the many objections from both sides of the family. His life was full of trials and tribulations since he was very young. He is now stable and is serving well in MAS and to both of my parents. Because he works with MAS, he and his family were entitled to certain benefits and privileges. Amongst them, cheaper flight tickets.. and that was what my parents get to benefit from as well.

Allah has planned it so well to get the family to come together and love one another. Who would have thought that my brother in law would work with MAS one day as one of the ground staffs. But he did. For he worked hard. He prayed harder and asked from Allah good things. Best things in life. And the best plan of it all was that the timing of his death was on where the next day it is a public holiday. Hence my dad need not to worry about requesting leave from his superiors.

We need to sangka baik with Allah. For we know we are already given a head start to put one foot in heaven because we believe in HIM. We just need to prove that we are worth His Love and Trust, and that we could swing the other foot into heaven by doing good deeds in this life. Trust His plans. It is the most complete, the best path and personalized for each and everyone of us.

Superpower of Du’a

We can only do so much when it comes to dealing with human behaviour. It ain’t easy changing Obstinance to being Obedient or Compliant. It can be crippling to ones self-esteem or motivation when good intentions to help someone is misconstrued or simply ignored.

Which is precisely whats happening between me and one of my brothers. It is very hard to find a balance between being supportive but also careful not to ruffle any feathers. Men can be so sensitive. hahaha.

Because of this minor conflict, I begin to think about other people whose problems could be worse than mine. What if they’ve exhausted every single effort, grit and sweat to initiate a change greatly needed for the benefit of all? What else can they do?

many nights we pray, with no proof anyone could hear, in our hearts a hopeful song, we barely understood, now we are not afraid.. although we know there’s much to fear, we were moving mountains long, before we know we could..

There can be miracles when you believe

 

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hope for a miracle

…through prayers. through du’a.

I once went to a Quran TAgging workshop by AyeshaShahira and in our goodie file, we were each given this small , cute book that has Allah’s 99 names. I had thought to myself, ‘i know asmaul husna, why would they need to make a notebook out it’. 

Ayesha somehow made us understand more about the names of Allah. About curating our du’a. To be in Allah’s good books.

We should strive to learn all 99 names of ALLAH. InsyaAllah, it will please Him and make our wishes underneath the great big sky sound so so beautiful. Indeed, ask from Allah for help, to help you help others. In my case, it would be me asking from Allah to give guidance to my brother in the best way possible so he could become a better person. Maybe give him a life changing dream or something to get him a head start in life. Allah knows best, for He shapes our Qadak dan Qadar. .

Finally, I’m not sure if you realize it or not, but for a muslim to make du’a for someone else’s well being is one of the most rewarding thing you could do for yourself too.

“…the dua of a muslim for his brother (in Islam) in his absence is readily accepted, and an angel is appointed to his side, whenever he makes a beneficial dua for his brother the appointed angel says “Ameen and may you also be blessed with the same”

[Muslim]

Are you tired? Try the spiritual solution – Tasbih Fatimiyyah

I am currently experiencing another burnout.

We are at this season where we are seeing up to 200+ patients a day. Despite trying to space out appointments – it is always full at this time of the year. The burden is shared between at least 6 medical docs in a day but sometimes we have to make do with 4. And that could be exhausting with all the talking and thinking. There is just no time to take a sip of that water or go to the loo.

Then there is family to think about. My unfolded laundry is so piled up I could actually make 2 forts out of it. I have not been cooking as much too. I rarely watch TV. But I always make time for my HoboMinci, doTERRA and blog. Well, I try. Because these are outlets I need to go to after a stressful day.

Sometimes I get cross when I feel that my husband is not pulling his weight in the household – only to realize that he too is doing what he can for the family on top of completing his phD. The fact that he preps breakfast for the kids and shower them in the morning is a blessing already. I should be grateful. Alhamdulilah. Coz the only thing I do in the morning is take care of myself anyway. And he never demands for homecooked  dinner.

It is at times like this that I feel I want to quit. Or I hate my job sorta thing. But I know I have to keep going and move on. So – take that pit stop, repair what you need and get on your way. Coincidentally, I came across a short clip by Aida Azlin recently which struck a chord in my heart. She talks about tasbih fatimiyyah and I guess that is how we wage war against tiredness etc. We nurture the power of the mind with zikr & doa.

Tasbih fatimiyyah:

subhanallah x33

alhamdulillah x33

allahuakbar x34

with 100% conviction from our heart

Zikir to me are not just words. But it’s a form of worship where we could take as a conversation and speak to Allah about our problems and ask that He helps solve it. InsyaAllah. 

With Zikr and doa, I pray that Allah bestowed upon me this path of turmoil and challenges because He thinks I am worthy of it. And that something good will come out of it. Mana tau dalam penat, takde selera makan kita jadi kurus. Ha ha ha ha.

Danials Graduation Day. A Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham day.

Today was a day of Cerekarama crossing with Hindustan. In short, lotsa drama happened with regards to my younger brother’s graduation ceremony. Without divulging TMI, lets just say it started when nobody in our family knew that he was to receive his scroll today.

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Danial did not inform anybody. He did not tell a single soul. And he is not even a social media sort of person. He enjoys Youtube, PS4 and video games. And those graphic stuff he does on his computer. But that was it. So of course, when he suddenly told my mum to get ready for his graduation  – MOther freaked out. Dad got emotionally charged and well… this is where the TMI would come in. I’d have to keep mum. lOl.

Its like ,

HOW COULD YOU KEEP SUCH IMPORTANT INFORMATION LIKE YOUR GRADUATION, ALL TO YOURSELF? SHOULD IT NOT BE EXCITING??

Man.. he could be a priest. People could confess a great sin and he’d probably bring it to his own grave. He could be of value to PDRM’s special branch even. All of us honestly had no idea that he kept such GREAT NEWS and he gave away no clue whatsoever!!

So he definitely deserved a page in my HoboMinci.

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As I was journaling, I was distracted to another topic in my head. Obviously Danial’s actions invited reactions and opinions from some people. Some comments were interesting, some were just damn harsh. yalah.. macam kau sorang je kan ada parenting method yang berjaya. 

I couldn’t help thinking when was the last time I spoke badly of my parents in law or my siblings in law. Or my husbands first degree relatives for example. And that was when I realized that NO, I have never done such thing. Rasanya tak pernah lagi I tell my husband in the face that I hate his relative or family. Or I think they should do better in certain things. Or what they are doing is not welcomed nor appreciated. Belum lagi part nak layan egoentricity and superiority complex masing2. So it’s either hadam or walk away.

Cause you never know if your words would hurt these souls. Kita bukannya nak jumpa hari ni je. For all you know, we are stuck for life or will bump into each other in the future where your circumstances may be less fortunate than how you were. Masa tu, the only thing left to do is for you to eat your words.

While I allow opinions and constructive criticism towards my flesh and blood, there is this very FINE LINE that you don’t cross especially when it starts to become disrespectful and is just mere dissing. Which fine line you may ask?

Tengok, susah kan nak decide fine line tu kat mana? So mulut jangan macam longkang masa nak komen.

Gallant husband

Suami adalah pelindung. Walau dalam ketiadaan kita, dia melindungi kita.

Hanis Zalikha, a local Malaysian celebrity,  narrated a story on her IG of how when she had hyperemesis gravidarum – she had to relieve herself at the restaurants public toilet. Little did she know that her retching was somehow audible to some patrons at the eatery. As she returned to her table, she was met by the unpleasant stares of the staff there. She was puzzled and wondered what happened.

Later the husband divulged that a customer complained regarding the restaurants service and made a scene regarding Hanis’s involuntary vomiting to the cashier. The husband then went to the man, confronted him nicely (meaning no raised voices, harsh words or a fist) and explained the wife’s pregnant situation. He even added an apology for the discomfort it caused to the customer.

Now, if this was my version of the story, I am not quite sure if my husband would rise to the occasion and make a similar counter-attack. Perhaps I am underestimating his romanticism and chivalry, but the aftermath of an imaginary me suffering from morning sickness would probably be met by him just ignoring that man because he was just not worth his time. Furthermore, the man was already at the counter wanting to pay and do not know who the puking lady in the bathroom is.

It is just the way he is. huhu.