Attachment for basic ultrasound. Ikhlas & Jelas.

I had palpitations nearing the date I was to report myself for the attachment in the Obstetrics and Gynaecology department. I had my goals of what I intend to achieve but I worry that the human factor may cause me to lose focus and feel despair for the whole week.

Attachments are meant to be a training ground for us to learn and polish on certain skills. Sometimes as the one attending these sessions – we may NOT KNOW WHAT WE DO NOT KNOW. So, it is important for the trainer to be accommodating and guiding. Tell the trainees who is who in the department because it’s not that we are working there, kan?

Trainees like myself, on the other hand must be open and ready to accept and learn new practices, if any. There shouldn’t be a ‘in my time dulu.. this is how we do it bla bla bla.”. That was dulu2, now we learn a better way despite being in the service for more than 10 years. Jgn terikat dgn cara lama. 

Niat kena ikhlas. Objektif kena jelas.

Alhamdulilah, our point of contact for the attachment was really really helpful. We learnt a lot of salient points in improving our scan techniques. I can only make du’a that all these individuals be granted pahala for the ilmu they taught me and my partner, Su Zanne.

wp-15388310959561890666276.jpg

We got a glimpse of a few extra features of the department which was exciting all the same. Like infertility processes and so on. The myth of O&G medical officers being obnoxious was dispelled. Probably because the ones we came across were kind and very senior to teach us properly. I would probably rot and wither away if I came across the ones who are muka ketat and look down on Klinik Kesihatan MOs. They exist mostly in junior rank. A few in senior rank.

My one week attachment was very fruitful. I felt motivated. Especially when I will be governing and running the maternity and child health clinic this month. I hope the wisdom and skills I acquired throughout the placement will be put to practice and should I have to refer, it will be a high quality, justified referral. He he he..

 

 

It’s late, I apologized

I had to apologize to roughly 13 patients today.

wp-15369027144191276500495.jpg

part of the pile

For arriving late. And they had to wait for their scan. They waited for 90 minutes. Not my fault. I was just stepping in for someone else. But sometimes patients need to vent their frustrations and anger. It’s not easy being heavily pregnant and having things not going your way. But I was lucky today. The ladies still had smiles on their faces (some reluctant, probably trying to keep their cool) but I am grateful anyway that no one blurted out harsh words.

Undeniably, I was angry for this miscommunication. This situation could have been avoided if The Scheduled Person made a reminder to the other colleagues. We do not keep up with your private engagements okay.

Secondly, I was also a bit pissed that I had to be thrown under the bus. Do you know how difficult it is to apologize to 13 different patients with a variety of personalities? I am just thankful that today, my mothers are all understanding and have the patience of a Buddha.

Each of my deep hearted apologies were replied with an

“its ok. it is still early”

or

“takpe. saya OK je doktor.. takde benda nak kejar”

This sort of response diffuses the tension and I was able to concentrate on my tasks for the day – to scan these ladies and give them the extra joy of informing them whether they will be expecting a boy or a girl.

If there was anything that I could take away from today was probably Sabar. And makes lots if doa to Allah for HIm to ease your day. InsyaAllah.

The Wet Nurse

wp-1536093476806..jpg

When I review patients coming in for their appointments, often I would praise them or congratulate them if have made progress in taking care of their health. Diabetic patients for instance, who made changes in their lifestyle, or who are more compliant to their medications, which in turn had better glycaemic control. I would say ‘good job’ or ‘congratulations’. I would then coax them, to share with me their success stories. Not for myself but more for them so that they know they are being acknowledged and that every effort they made counted. Hence, InsyaAllah they would strive more for the better.

Occasionally, I would come across Life Lessons in the form of these patients. Like yesterday, when I had the opportunity to listen to a story of Kindness, Determination, Patience in one.

I was sitting in one of my Rural Clinic sessions. These clinics are usually less busy as compared to the Primary Care Clinics. This serves as an opportunity to spend more one on one time with the patients. And in came a lady bringing in her newborn for a check. On the baby book – it was already clearly indicated that she was the adoptive mother.

As I checked the baby, I asked whether the biological mom had any antenatal medical issues to which she didn’t. Then I enquired further whether they still keep in touch and if the biomum supplied her breastmilk to the baby – because that is what some biomums do when they give their baby away out of love. The adoptive mom said she doesnt have much milk so the supply has stopped BUT she is giving her own milk as well so the baby is well fed. I was in AWE.

The adoptive mother, Madam Kind was in her early 40s with already 2 teenage children and she underwent induced lactation! Of course I asked of her experience which she was happy to share. Cause you see, as a medical professional, we sometimes see things from the medical perspective only – this was one of those rare opportunities (I say rare because I’m not in the gynae field that deals with this case more) for me to know the thinking process/emotional part of it. I wanted to know how difficult or how meaningful the journey was to the patient.

wp-1536093535116..jpg

HOW IT STARTED

Madam Kind was working as a nurse in a private hospital when one of the specialists was looking for interested individuals to care for the baby. The search started in the biomums 3rd trimester. Coincidentally she wanted to adopt a child and when the chance came, she jumped on it.

THE NIYAT

Prior to this she had always had the intention, that if she were to adopt a child, be it a girl or boy… she would still breastfeed them. BECAUSE she wanted the child to be ‘milk-siblings’ with her current children. Hence, a mahram muabbad to her husband as well (if the baby is a girl) which instantly grants this baby the status similar to their biological child. At least they would be no issues regarding aurat amongst family members.

THE PROCESS

This particular lady started her journey as a wet nurse at Week 33 gestation of the biomum. She only had to consume Domperidone and regular pumping sessions to stimulate her breast. On good days she can store 1 ounces of milk from both breasts of which she would keep it in her freezer. The aim is to collect her breast milk as much as she could so the rules of Milk-Sibling could be fulfilled. Which is for the child (less than 2 years old) to be ‘full’ at least 5 times. And this milk is enough to grow the build and bones of the child.

Do note that the stomach of a newborn is only the size of a marble. Hence she collected more than enough for the purpose and was even able to directly breastfeed the baby.

Listening to her journey made me realize why it has always been suggested that if you wish to adopt a child outside your family – it would be best to welcome them in the family since Day 1. Tak susah kan nak bagi baby kenyang? Of course, the adoptive mother too  have to make her own sacrifices and this would not be possible if the lady did not have tremendous support from her own husband and kids.

I asked  her if she was happy with how everything turned out to which she said Alhamdulilah with great pride. Of course the family is still tied to paperwork. I did not manage to ask her regarding THAT as I had another patient to review after her. It would be interesting to learn that aspect of adoption as well.

I congratulated her on her new bundle of joy. I praised her for her diligence and mentioned the kindness and understanding of her family and co-workers as well. I feel that she should know that she was doing a good job. I am glad that the baby found a good, caring family. Insya-Allah the baby will grow up to be an outstanding khalifah.

 

My Klinik Kesihatan Chapter. Starts right now.

wp-1518700123815..jpg

After 6 years serving as a Medical Officer in Jasin Hospital, it was finally time to bid au revoir. I wish I could thank and apologize to more people during my mini farewell party but … well, maybe next time. Honestly speaking, my stint there was one of the best parts of my life. In short, I was H.A.P.P.Y to be myself. To act like myself and not how another person think I should. Macam dewasa but still boleh cute2 walaupun dah berumo. Not all people can accept behaviour like that tau. Someone once told me I should act my age, meaning like in my 30s. Or was it late 20s. I was a bit taken aback at the time because I thought it was OK to ‘be yourself’ and let yourself loose among friends while still maintaining your professionalism in front of patients but apparently not.. Tak ingat plak beruk mana yg tegur I tuh.  Camtuhlah.. I don’t know if an opportunity like that will ever come again. (of course it will, LOL)

5th FEBRUARY 2018 – I had to start all over again. Creating good first impressions despite the false circulating rumours ( why lah.. belum sempat menapak kat tempat parking pun.. dah kuar cerita2 tak best) about the choice of my placement and its inevitable circumstances. I managed to clear the air when I found out about it but still, the truth may not reach everyone, kan? Forging new relationships was OK. It may be difficult to weave seamlessly into a clique but I will take ‘friendly’ anytime. I will work on Trust later on.

Klinik Kesihatan or ‘general practice’ was not my forte but I am open to new experiences and responsibilities. On top of Sabar, I believe that if we set our intentions right, together with diligence, things will work out in the end. *more on that Sabar thing later*. After all, I will be shifting grades soon and this would mean me having to shoulder heavier responsibilities whether I am ready or not. I am still figuring things out. It’s not only about knowing the diseases and workflow related to GP practice, it’s also about being alert about the politics of the place. To survive.

20180216_204322.jpg

That is my car. It looks like a kitchen and office combined. The mess kind of reflects my state of mind at the moment. Yalah.. new baby, new job scope, new lifestyle… so many adapting to do. And in the near future, Mr Husband plak is going for Umrah with HIS FAMILY for 10 days leaving me to handle the 2 kids without my in laws this time. AND WITHOUT MY LEAVE APPROVED BY MY NEW BOSS. 

At first I was a bit furious with Mr Husband because of all dates – why does this Umrah trip have to happen during the month when I’m making all these transitions? Can it not wait till later? But after putting myself in everybody elses shoes especially Mr Husbands shoes (like I always do because I’m a tremendous, understanding wife like that).. I guess that would be most CONVENIENT for him as a Masters Student with limited holidays and annual leaves. So, I terpaksa REDHA. His nucleus family, the one that raised him for the past 30 plus years need him more there for the Umrah to be successful. INSYAALLAH. 

Consequently, I have to play my INDEPENDENT and ENERGETIC 24/7 card to juggle it all. Thankfully my new workplace is just 8 KM away from my house but the traffic can be ugly. I still need about 30 minutes to commute.  Takpe.. boleh breakfast dalam kereta. HAAHAHAHa. *positive vibes*

A tough beginning to a new chapter. I might as well make it interesting and worthwhile.

Hanging up the Scrubs

Maybe for good.

scrubs

Let me just spin this song I like to listen to whenever I feel melancholic and not appreciated. hah gitew.. syahdu right..

I have mixed feelings about this. I remember this particular whirlwind emotion. It has an emoji of its own. The Minci Emoji. It’s the exact feeling I had many years ago when I was also faced with a difficult, life changing decision. It’s a mix between ‘arghhh tak suka tak suka tapi terpaksa’ with ‘i can do this’ with ‘i am going to be sad forever and ever but still smiling’ with ‘come on Minci, they can throw you to the wolves and you’ll come back leading the pack’. Get  it?

Back then, I chose whats RIGHT over how I FELT. Kononnya BRAIN over HATI DAN PERASAAN.

I chose a situation that could lead me to JALAN YANG LURUS instead of FUN and COMFORTABLE.

Indeed, that decision paid off. It was the RIGHTFUL decision I made. Do I still think about it? Of what would have happen if I chose to walk the other road? Of course I did – who wouldn’t if it was accompanied with a bucket of tears. Just like the one I’m experiencing at the moment. Another RIGHTFUL decision.

But it is the BEST decision for now. It’s like what Oprah said

YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL. JUST NOT ALL AT ONCE

I loved what I was doing – I think it was the adrenaline rush. And of course the type of people I met along the way. If you love the nature of your job, you don’t really give a damn about the birocracy that happened within the institution you know. You just concentrate on making your sick patients well again. And you do it in a team with My Person [read : Greys Anatomy ]

BUT – it was a job that did not get me anywhere when it comes to progressing in your career. I did not make through the screening process for the Masters Programme – TWICE. Yes, I had additional responsibilities seen fit for my pay grade but it was just that. I was still going to be just a medical officer. but more senior, so called more experienced .. yet I still have to commute 27km daily to and fro, do oncalls and night shifts. Which can be taxing and dangerous sometimes when I have to go home from a shift at 12 midnight passing through the dark areas. At the end of the day, I  am the Medical Officer that could be quoted upon . Like you know how some people like to say, ” Kak Minci yang ajar buat camni” when they’re caught doing something wrong. HAHAHA.

Since this particular situation was seen through the perspective of people who mattered to me most (family), the argument is.. you can still serve the ill as a medical officer in a clinic setting. It’ll be InsyaAllah closer to home, office hours – well there might be programmes on the weekend but at least my nights are free. So I could tuck the kids to bed and check their homework and rise early the next morning to prepare their Bento. Kids tend to remember the times when you were not there for them at times when they need you most. Regardless of how many mornings you’re home to make Dorayaki for breakfast.

So yup – It was great to meet you Anaesthesia and Emergency Medicine. I hope to bump into you one day. but errr.. not as a patient though. I wish for a better beginning – my friends are convincing me that I would have a better quality of life. Thanks ladies. Then maybe I could arrange Me Time better – the spa, the journaling sessions, more blogging stuff. YEAY.

I did realize ONE GLARING thing though. That when it comes to WORK or as a work colleague – you are replaceable. Petik jari, somebody is already in line to be trained as good as you. And after a few sad emoji’s, goodluck wishes and such on Whatsapp and friendly exchanges of ‘why the transfer’ and what not – in just an instance Minci is already a distant memory. New BFF circles are formed. It is normal. Take home note – do not love your job excessively. It does not love you back just as much.