Son dropped water on my study table

It was partly my fault. I left a glass half full with water on my table the night before. Unfortunately, it was knocked over by my 9 year old son as he wanted to read his Doraemon comic at my table for light. What followed afterwards was an observation of how there were parts of parenting I could improve to nurture my son into a better person.

When the glass was knocked over, the first thing he did was put the glass back upright (fair enough) but just stood there and watched the water continue to flood the table, with my laptop and books still on it, then continued to watch water trickle down the table.

I had to intervene. I removed the essentials from the wet area and instructed him to get a cloth to wipe it all. He ran out of the room and made me wonder, where the heck is he going? Turned out he went to the kitchen to take the only rag he knew of in the house that could wipe water. That small rag you put at the sink to wipe down the table after every meal. I gave him a look and took a different cloth and wiped the mess. Grumbling at the same time and sent him to the living room.

After the experience, I reflected on the situation a bit. It was a simple scenario of mishap but why is it that my son couldn’t solve the problem? It could be due to ;

  • he has never been in such situation before
  • even if he has, perhaps the scenario was a bit different and he was unable to use the knowledge that he knows, tweak it a bit to suit the current situation. Something we call creative thinking? Or is it logical thinking?

He knew basically that if water spills, you take a cloth and wipe it clean. And the only cloth he knows that could do the job is the one by the kitchen sink. He was limited to that pathway of wiping the spill and that option of cloth/rag in the house. He had no idea that if you spill water on a table with important things, you need to remove those things away. He had no idea that he could just use the kain batik and shawl I have hanging on the chair to contain the area and wipe it off. Even if he still wanted to use the kitchen cloth, he could have picked a bigger on than the cinonet one to wipe the mess.

It got me to somehow think of other problems in life and how people solve them. Sometimes an issue needs only a simple solution and yet a few make it so complicated. In a way, I was drawn to something that happened at work recently.

Due to Covid19, a lot of daily work practices have to be adapted to a new norm. For example in ways of conducting a meeting or course in the form of webinars. To attend a webinar meeting for an hour or so at the workplace is fine as you would resume your tasks at work after. What I don’t understand is why a one-day webinar that requires the presence of only one participant needs to be held in the clinic premise as well. Why can’t we take it as attending a one day course ( it is after all a one day course – online form) and allow the participant to take the course at the comfort of their own home using their own residential data connection. Webinar meeting for 1 hour is less excruciating than an 8 hour webinar course. If the superior worries of the subordinates playing truant or not paying attention, the subordinate could actually do the same at the workplace. Infact, even during physical online course, the organizer cannot guarantee that participants are paying full attention to it.

It also got me thinking about the less fortunate members of the society and the words of our former Education Minister, Dr Maszlee. Him saying that some people are only capable to think and solve their issues at a certain level because that is the only way they know how. They were not taught to think better nor shown on the options they have in life. Very few are able to think creatively and critically but more often they can’t. It’s like some people, they just know that begging brings them money. They are unaware that they could apply for benefits from JKM to buffer their circumstances for the time being.

Anyway, after my son had his morning shower we sat down and went through the situation again. I asked him first on what he should do if the water spills? After he answered, I proceeded to add on other ideas to clean up the mess like moving important things away, using nearby resources etc.

Things like this taught me that what seems logical and easy to you may not appear the same to other people because we are not wired the same way. Parenting is never easy as we are not just raising and preparing another human being for the world but also learning about ourselves and figuring out how we could be better ourselves.

Purchased RAK BESI and started sorting stuff

My husband pissed me off. So I was on a Cleaning Mode. Lucky bastard! By the way, if you’re reading to find out what he said, you’re not going to find it here. Anyway, I get into this really zealous mode of cleaning whenever I get mad at something. The energy has shifted from reckless driving & shouting in the car to Marie Kondo mode. Then, I start throwing everything into the trash or donate everything to the recycling clothes bin. Sometimes I forgot to say thank you to the stuff.

I ordered 4 sets of steel racks from Rak Besi, a small enterprise based in Melaka. The racks were delivered and assembled at my house and upon completion, I transferred the money online to the seller. Total damage was RM675.00.

I rearranged my kids toys in the dark, activity room. I am still finding ways to make it cozy. The husband had a lousy design idea when he renovated the house. So we will have to make do with what we have.

And then I took on the big task of sorting out the porch. The porch which is rarely swept, rarely cleaned yet housing all sorts of junk. Including a big, unused motorcycle! It was damaged in an accident where my husband dislocated his finger a few years. He is having a hard time to let it go. I honestly don’t know what he plans to do with it.

I underestimated the weight of the bike as I soon discovered handling it is no small feat. But because I had so much anger, I had enough strength to maneuver it around as I also, dragged the biggest rack of all from my living room to the porch. I am expecting a 500g weight loss on my scale coming morning with all this heavy lifting!

There’s still a lot of things to be done. I still need to clean the porch floor. Declutter my storage area. Sell my books. Once I get all that sorted out, I can start with my garden project, sell my car and then maybe, plan a holiday.

PKPP will start today till 30th August 2020.

One can’t just go buy a new house whenever you feel like it. A house needs to be maintained and given a fresh makeover every now and again. We should learn how to fix things or at least know how to find someone who can do the fixing for you. As homeowners, we should schedule yearly cleanups of some sort like cuci tangki.

Same thing with having a wife. Some men are lucky they have wives who can maintain themselves and schedule activities to alleviate personal stress and such. Some wives kurang bernasib baik as they don’t have the means to do so. Consequently, some men end up leaving them and look for prettier pastures. Eh, tetiba.. marah sgt neh.. hehe

Salam Ramadhan 1440H

Some people need their whole life to turn a new leaf. Some, need just a Ramadhan.

📸 🧕🏻

It is fasting season again and already I can predict the same unaccomplished goals repeating itself. Hahaha.

  • Quran tak abis baca
  • Puasa tak penuh becoz of haid
  • House not ready for raya
  • Self not ready for raya

I was so not in the mood for Eid last year that I could not be bothered to even get nasi impit. I think its because I just got a baby that year and was transfered to a new working place. Hence, knowing myself with regards to my festive season affective disorder – I applied for a one week leave off work a week before Syawal. Syawal is the month of Eid.

I would like to use that week to just contradict myself. (Wuttt) Meaning something along the lines of wanting to take a break from work but running errands for the house. So its not exactly resting or Me.Time exclusively as I know I will be going to the bank, get groceries, deep clean the house, bake eid cookies, preparing gifts for friends and families. And of course the duit raya. Who could forget that? Theres many little humans to pamper and shower with love.

2 nieces

3 nephews

My god sons and daughters. The beautiful list is endless.

Back when I was a medical officer in Hospital Jasin, I would usually volunteer to be oncall on the 2nd of Hari Raya. I would make my ward rounds in the paeds ward and then distribute some duit raya for the kids and babies. Of course they would get one on the first day of raya from the hospital. This, is my personal contribution. Now that I am in a primary care setting, I hope to continue that maybe with kids in klinik desa or something. We will see.

Ramadhan as a mom is different every year. Although most of my roles involve finishing up leftover meals of my kids ( thank goodness I only have 2) or become a walking encyclopedia/dictionary – it is always interesting to find out every year.

I now have a secret helper in the kitchen – Madam Coway. Gosh, I really like the idea of having icy cold water at the tip of my finger.

For my terawih ( a form of Ramadhan exclusive prayer) at home, I now have the doTERRA diffuser and essential oils to keep my spririt up and running. Ninie is also at a developmental milestone where she can obey simple command and walk. If she wants to 😑.

There is always something new to learn about myself and my family everyday. We all grow up better physically, emotionally or spriritually. It’s like that night nanny in Tully (movie) saying how we all ‘grow a little each night’

Not just babies. We all do.

A long day today, mothering

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My little princess was be taken ill today. It started with a bit of flu and mild cough for a few days but in the early hours of the morning, her body temperature had risen and she was irritable. Like really irritable.

Mr Husband could not take leave from his responsibilities (macamlah aku tkde) and so I had to thicken my skin and request for an emergency leave from my supervisor. Thankfully it was granted. Or I’d be damned.

Ninie was being very clingy the whole day. She wanted a hug all the time – which was so cute by the way. Awkward at times. Technically I had an audience when I showered, pee-ed and poo-ed. I made her nasi aruk telur for lunch and baby bolognese pasta for dinner. My own lunch was 2 slices of bramble jelly toast. She had her paracetamol and she was in her diapers only for the whole day. Once she got much better, she can play independently for 30 secs. Then, its looking for mummy again. I learnt that she loves the Hi-5 group today as she follows their gestures , something like dancing, wiggling her little tush.

Towards the end of the day, she seemed happier. I brought her outside of the house to visit our little garden. Alhamdulilah, our jambu air tree has bore its fruits. Now we are waiting for the mango to come out.

Caring for a sick child is exhausting. Especially when your sleep pattern is disrupted. I hope I can function tomorrow. InsyaAllah.

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Ninie is 1

When I carried her in my womb, I had an inkling that this could be a girl but it wasn’t really confirmed until I finally saw her during my Caesarean section. She is turning 1  years old today. Some say she is a spitting image of my mom. To me, she is a mixture of my face and my husband’s.

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Haneem meaning penuh kasih sayang

Raising a girl is more than just putting pretty clothes on her. It is a lot of hard work from a moms perspective. I am not saying raising a boy is easy, it’s just that the ‘syllabus’ is different. LOL. If I could pre-programme Ninie’s virtues – my top 3 would be Kind, Generous and Intelligent.

Kind so she would not say or do things that could harm someone elses feelings or well being. That she would choose her words carefully and react accordingly. So she would always be pleasing to Allah, to us and those who love her.

Generous so she can share if she has the means to do so. To be thoughtful of other peoples plight. And in order to give more, she would strive to have enough in the first place. And work hard for it. Which is closely linked to my final trait.

Intelligent. A young lady with a sharp mind can never go wrong. With that brain of hers, InsyaAllah she is going to use it for the benefit of her family, the ummah and humanity as a whole.

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But these virtues do not just come by on its own. It will depend on the whole village especially the parents to lay down those bricks to shape out what type of person their children will be. A daughter should have the best of what her parents can provide and this puts me in a big, big shoe. If you read the news nowadays or just scroll down the newsfeed on Facebook, there is a lot of crimes, misdemeanour, liberalism and hatred in the current society that one cannot help feeling worried for their family members. Me too, included.

Which is why it is important to include ALllah in your daily life, your decision making etc. For it is He that will listen to you and guide you through life. We can never know the future but I pray that all will be well biiznillah.I can already imagine the hurdles that Ninie  will be going through as a young girl, a teenager and later a young adult. I have had uncertainties as whether I could be the best role model for her.

Reflecting on the latter, perhaps that is why Allah bestowed upon me a daughter. We all have our own pathways in getting closer to Allah. Some through wealth, others a good career, several through building a family, a few through Death or predicaments in everyday life. Mine is through Haneem (ninie). Knowing me, who wants to be the best version of myself to both Hazeeq and Haneem – InsyaAllah, I would take steps to improve myself as not only a mum, but a muslimah as a whole.

I want them to see me who uses the talent/skills Allah give me towards doing something useful. I want them to know that I care about not only our own family but other people who needs help as well. I want them to see that I use good words in my conversations and that I always smile  the company of people, even amongst those I don’t really like. I want them to learn how to manage their emotions, their time and monetary resources by example. In short, I want them to be proud of me as a mum.

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That they would confide in me when they encounter problems. They would shower me with endless hugs and kisses. That they know I am not just a mom, but I am also a doctor who knows how to have a good time. ha ha. Above all, I want them to pray for my well being always as evidence that they sayang me a lotttttt.

Happy birthday Ninie. I hope you grow up to be a beautiful lady loved by Allah and his ummah. InsyaAllah.