Did I knew I was carrying a baby girl?

Prior to being pregnant, I did pray very hard for a daughter. I had an inkling that once I was pregnant – that it might be a girl but I have nothing solid to put my hat on.

Of course there were loads of old wives tales (tips) circulating around the WWW but I never did get a proper ultrasound session of which my sonographer/friend/medical officer was damn sure I’m going to have a girl. The Chinese birth chart predicted I was going to have a boy. So i can never be certain.

Retrospectively however – there were some clues that perhaps pointed towards me carrying a Nini.

  1. Horrible morning sickness as compared to my previous pregnancy with Ee. It was glaringly significant up to the point I had ketones in my urine which indicated how dehydrated I was
  2. I had a ‘natural glow’ which warranted no makeup whatsoever throughout my gestation. this however is in contrast to the belief that if you were to have a girl you would be grooming yourself really nice with makeup and what not. Also you’d be having zits all over the face – but I didn’t have any.
  3. I had less body hair. Somehow. It took longer than usual for me to have another shave of the legs and ‘friends’. It’s like the bulu bulu just don’t want to grow
  4. Sleeping on right lateral was more comfortable for me and that was something people tend to associate with having a girl.
  5. Simple instinct but just wouldn’t say it out loud

Hence you could imagine how excited I was when Nini came out. We have a girl!! LOL. GIRLS ARE JUST MAGICAL. Even if the baby came out as a Hakeem, I’d probably do a similar blogpost that highlights signs which points him out as a boy during my pregnancy. Ha ha ha. This is a merely for fun after all.



Confinement Room

“You can make the TV room as your confinement area. Can play your Korean movie or watch Youtube there” – MR HUSBAND

It’s a new space in our house. Dimly lit. Equipped with a few sets of sofa, bookshelves and an air conditioning unit. It does lend a bit of privacy when you don’t feel like sitting outside in the living room. I guess you could say it’s a family area where you can just watch TV, read a book or just lie down. Cuma.. dapur jauh skit nak menapak to grab some snacks. Ha ha.


Me watching one of RainbowHolics videos using the HObonichi

I usually use this room in the afternoon when Mom, my confinement lady wants to watch her Hindi Puteri Ular show on TV3. Although the family room TV is dominated by EE and his Hagemaru/Upin Ipin stuff – at least I can breastpump discretely whilst doing some journalling or blogging.


My postpartum journal and washi tapes

Perhaps later I’ll share the very very very traditional confinement rituals I have to put up with on top off the more ‘modern’ aspect of it (once my Mom goes back to her house to fulfill her other motherly duties. HA ha ha).

Till then – just trying not to stress myself out. Smell the baby. Kiss my kids and take it one day at a time. InsyaAllah everything will be fine.

The Syazmins : Their Birth Story

It turned out that I have never wrote about Ee’s birth story. My previous blog entry (littlehealer) was last written in 2009. Ee only entered our lives in 2011.

  1. Ee (December 2011)



I was a medical officer in the Anaesthetic Department when I conceived him whilst Mr Husband was in the Emergency Department in the same hospital. I did my checkup at the Staff Antenatal Clinic on a monthly basis, almost always on a postcall day. In short, there weren’t much issue in my antenatal history except for recurrent Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). And a threatened miscarriage at 10 weeks of pregnancy. He survived.

Ee was with me during my oncalls in ICU and also in the Operating Theatre. I was worried of threats like infection and biohazard stuff. I was once exposed to a patient with suspected meningitis and had to take an intramuscular jab as prophylaxis. It hurt. Apart from that – it’s just the usual polytrauma, emergency LSCS cases, intrabdominal injury stuff coming through the OT door.

Despite the work related hectic lifestyle – I still managed to balloon up from a booking body weight of 47KG to 62KG and Ee came out as a 2.8KG baby.

It happened in the early morning of 0330AM when I felt a ‘pop’ and gush of water coming out in between my legs. I was not in pain so I proceeded to the toilet to kind of check on myself and applied a sanitary pad. Only then did I woke up Mr Husband and together we collected my birth bag and made way to the delivery suite. I was 9 days early and was in fact still scheduled to provide anaesthetic services in the Eye OT the next day.

Somehow I felt safe that night knowing that the O&G and Anaesthetic Team on duty were very senior and experienced in their respective fields. It was also a priviledge to have Mr Husband with me at all times as he clerked me in, inserted my branula and urinary catheter, checked my vaginal opening and for the finale – was given the opportunity to scrub in during my C-Section and see to the baby.

I was leaking basically shit from Ee. Although the amniotic fluid was moderately stained, subsequent monitoring of the baby’s condition using the CTG was not assuring. We were given the option to induce or opt for C-section. We both chose to have a C-section – we were not brave enough to take the risk. And of course risau sakit 2 kali.

Ee came out crying and post-operatively my recovery was well… OK. I have to admit the pain does linger for quite a bit but I did have emotional issues to deal with. I was lucky then that Mr Husband was granted paternity leave for 7 days. He was a great help with the baby especially during feeding times and changing diapers at night. We had to supplement with formula because I was not making enough milk early for the baby.

Part of the factor could be because I had a C-section but part of it could be due to me the mother not feeling relaxed enough to produce more milk. I mean, we had loads of visitors dropping by the house in the first 2 weeks. That crucial time one needs to rest and recuperate and find their footing with a new family member in the house. Although I appreciate the kind gestures of visiting and offering advices – I think one should give space for the family to just settle in and get their bearings right and limit visits to immediate family members only instead of the whole kampung or something. I was really really stressed at the time. TRUST ME. I almost hempas Ee to the mattress.

Now Ee is all grown up and well. Rarely sick and very obedient. Technically the apple of our eye for almost 6 years until Nini came along. Well. He is still our apple.

2. Nini ( November 2017)



This time I’m a medical officer in the Emergency Department whilst Mr Husband is a postgraduate student in Public Health. My routine checkups are done at the nearby Klinik Kesihatan Ibu & Anak and well.. it could be an age factor as I not only have recurrent UTI but also anaemia in pregnancy. The later stages of my pregnancy also revealed myself as having oligohydramnios which means very little amount of amniotic fluid for the baby to float around in the uterus. Which kind of explains that extra pain I experienced down below when I walk or sit too long. Especially when the baby moves.

Nini and I braved through our little storm in the Emergency Department. Sometimes its a trauma case, others could be a respiratory problem. But what I fear the most are well – undisclosed infections like Hepatitis C, Tuberculosis and kids that come with rashes. Had a few scares but the rest as they say – is Tawakkal to Allah. Occasionally I’d have to perform a postmortem on a body brought in dead. Not my cup of tea but sometimes it has to be done.

This time around my weight gain was more controlled. A booking weight of 61KG to 69.5Kg upon delivery and Nini came out as a 2.95KG baby girl.

It was like any other routine appointment day. Only this time I get to see the Specialist for the 2nd time. On my 1st visit – she did caution me that my liquor was on the low side but she’ll give me a chance to hopefully deliver early before my next appointment in 3 days. I had 2 SWEEP done on that 1st visit – which hurt like hell – my toes were curling during the simple procedure. I almost vowed not to have another intercourse for the rest of my life. However my ‘opening’ was still small, about 1.5CM on the 2nd visit with the liquor index getting lower. The fact that the baby had a cord round her neck got me worried eventhough her CTG was Reactive. Mr husband helped to decide – DON’T TAKE RISK. WHAT TO DO. CAESARLAH – So yes.. I was immediately admitted to the ward for a Caesarean section.

This time it was a bit tough. Mr Husband was not with me during the birth journey. I had my branula and catheter inserted (of a big size with minimal LA gel) by inexperienced personnel. And failed during first attempt. *cried blood but persevered* up to the point that I was damn relieved when my spinal block went in. Not to mention the countless times I was stripped half naked to ease the procedures being done in a crowd of people and men that I recognise. I just feel that its weird to be in just your skin in front of people you know as opposed to complete strangers but well… hadap je lah. After all – they guy who gave me the spinal was so good – my Bromage score was still 3  – despite rested in recovery for 30 mins. Thank you adik. 

Post operatively I was struggling with breastfeeding and caring for Nini as a whole. This time Mr Husband is not entitled to have Paternity Leave and I was against him taking his personal leave for we may not know what he may need them for later. After all – thankfully his classes that week were spaced out and some were even cancelled to our relief. It does irk me however – when on the second day of delivery his supervisor made a remark reprimanding and enquiring why he did not attend that ONE session that day and reminds him that he does not have paternity leave.

LIKE COME ON LAH – aku caesar kot.. budi bicara skit boleh. He had always attended your other lectures prior to this. I was so pissed off. And because Mr Husband sometimes have early morning clasess – I try not to wake him up during the night to tend to Nini because he needs to be well rested for his daily commute on his motorbike, a 90 mins journey to campus for class. So yes, its a struggle to feed Nini with a painful abdomen at night. Tapi bertabahlah… 

Since I’m having my confinement at my own home – there is less visitors. The only stress I get is from the confinement practices itself (some of them) which hinders efficient breastfeeding. Like application of minyak muyan to your whole body, the selection of food and the too often, herbal baths. Nini refuses to latch,(smell factor?) so I have to express my milk. Rasa nak pitam using the machine for the first time but it got easier. The suction force was I felt – kuat sangat but tolerable I guess as opposed to Nini biting on me.

Nini is now at Day 8 of life – fighting jaundice. Grrr.. beraklah byk2 anak oiii.. perhaps later I can share stuff from my Postpartum Journal. the frustrations, the joy and what not…

Prego Minci, prego…


Yes. I’m pregnant. On an unnofficial basis. Just based on this urine test. Meaning I haven’t done my antenatal booking and have yet to do my dating scan. It’s just too early. I’ll do them next month.

This is my 3rd pregnancy test after a few irregular cycles and late periods. I did not even want to check when I was late for this month but my body was ‘behaving very weirdly’. It’s like I just want to lie down – everyone is annoying sorta thing. Despite my high spirit nature at work – I felt my body working against me. And gosh.. I am experiencing morning sickness. THIS IS SO NEW TO ME. Which seems to peak at about 8AM and last till noon. I feel better for a while and then my head goes all woozy in the evening till night. Oncall would be challenging this trimester.

Honestly I don’t remember feeling like this in my first pregnancy. I did have obsessions to certain food and smell especially towards potatoes and chip back then. Which explains why I ballooned up from 48KG to 62KG at the time. Then I would wash my hands very often with that ‘scrubbing foam soap’ ever so frequent just because I loved the smell.


Once I saw the double line on my urine  test – I immediately regretted my visit to the mamak that morning for I fear having Gestational Diabetes Mellitus (GDM). HAHAHA. I bought Obimin from Watsons for my daily supplement. I stocked up on vege (broccoli) mainly. I drank more water until I pee-ed like water too.

Of course Mr Husband got very excited. Alhamdulilah was muttered over and over again. It did got me thinking as to why we are blessed with this now. But like I’ve always put it – there is always a reason for everything.

There must be a reason as to why I was selected to participate in the O&G Life Saving Skills course the other day. Perhaps to meet my future ObsGyn Docs. hehe. Or as to why I get to meet old friends recently. And have new wonderful colleagues in casualty like I have now. I have yet to share the news with them as its still too early. I don’t want them to feel sorry if I get too lembik at work. But yeah.. if I can’t handle it, nak tak nak have to inform lah hohhhh – 

But yeah – fingers crossed everything will go well. I haven’t actually been taking Folic Acid 3 months prior to conceiving. I just hope that its not too late to start and provide a nice home for this child. Will do my dating scan soon. InsyaAllah. And document my journey too.


I married a Mommy’s boy


My son helped with the dishes today. I never really taught him how nor did I tell him that he should. Perhaps he saw his father doing it. Mr Husband is his Mommys boy. It was difficult to kind of digest that in the first few months of my marriage. He showered her with gifts. He never failed to hug his mom. He called her everyday when we were still working in Kuching.

Now he sees her everyday. Well.. partly because we send our son to his grandparents during daytime to help keep an eye on him. Mr Husband buys his mom a week supply of groceries every week without fail, cleans her house, paints the walls, fix the lights and helps out in whatever that needs doing. She would get to know the most important news (that matters) the first. And did I mentioned that when he does these things he would bring our son along?

Initially I felt left out. But now as we’re heading strong into our 7th year of marriage – I honestly can’t wait for him to do the weekly chores at his moms house. At least I have that few hours by myself to just do my own cleaning or cooking or just you know, journalling and playing with my stickers and washi tapes. Without his sometimes annoying grandiose mutterings in my ears. Or that curious peek from behind my shoulders. sibuk sgt tau. HAHAHAHAHA.

I would want a son like Mr Husband when I’m old. Lets start em gentleman grÔÔming  young shall we?