A Weekend Affair of a Meeting , Pyjamas Party and the Merisik Entourage (Malay Surveying Custom)

For most of the time, it’s an alhamdulilah when my stars are aligned by Allah as I get to complete a lot of things in a little amount of time. Just like the recent weekend where I get to spend time with my friends, family and mengumpat other people.

The Meeting

I may have mentioned before that my high school friends (batch 2000) are planning a Back To School (BTS) event next year. It’s not just any reunion for this was an opportunity for us to get back together having left the school for 20 years on top of making a contribution to the school. There were a few new faces at the meeting which was great. I like that we are reshuffling groups as I feel I did not contribute that much in my previous team. Most importantly, it is awesome when the heads of the committee echo my thoughts of wanting us all to have FUN but not to the extent of syok sendiri. ha ha.

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I also like that our batch is now registered as a society and we can move forward as sisters – looking out for each other and our kids. The meeting was very fruitful and I guess we could all see our directions better.

PYJAMAS PARTY

Then there was my nephews 3rd birthday party. His mom, my younger sister prepares the best food in the world. Despite the recycled decorations of Ben 10, we had a great time – as always.

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The cake was pre-ordered from Berry’s. It was a delicious choc and vanilla cake covered with fresh cream.

MERISIK ENTOURAGE

It’s a mini entourage on behalf of my youngest brother in law to seek a particular ladies hand in marriage. In traditional Malay custom, we don’t get down on one knee. Instead, if you really like a girl and wants to marry her, you inform your parents so they could meet the parents/guardian of this particular lady, get some information about the girl and her family and most importantly find out if she is seeing someone in particular. Of course, in modern context, we already know that they are seeing each other. 

Perhaps, this is a way of getting the parents involved. So that, these youngsters do not cross the line and respect the relationship they have with each other and form a good impression to the respective families.

The merisik (spying) part from our side was done by the eldest uncle. If this was England, you’d hear proper English being spoken complete with their beautiful idioms and proverbs between the 2 parties. In our setting, we had a serious yet calm opening statement mentioning the purpose of the visit and what both families hope to achieve, interlaced with mini pantuns here and there. Kinda reminded me of my own merisik ceremony sometime ago. If done rightly, it is a beautiful Malay custom.

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The future bride’s side did not set any amount for the hantaran. But of course, knowing my in laws, they would give the best for this lady. Just like how it was for me. My mother in law put a ring on the girls finger to officiate this ‘spying’ ceremony. InsyaAllah, they will have a quick engagement and nikah on the same day later of the year. I just hope my weekend is not disrupted with anything.

HoboMinci and side kicks

Salam and Hi. For those who have not known yet I affectionately call my hobonichi my Hobominci.

Yesterday I took the opportunity to declutter and rearrange the furniture and planner related stuff I have in my Minci Cave. As expected, there’s a lot of dust. I sneezed almost all the time but I managed to get the place in order about 70% I still have another 30% to go today. Naturally I got distracted looking into my washi tapes journalling cards and the thousand many things I have at my pretty table.

Later at night, I get to update my memory book in this particular floral book which was given by Zawaniz. I selected my photos from my archives in Google photos and that was when I realised that I don’t really have a lot of pictures with my husband. So it was very difficult to choose a photo of the both of us to go inside the book. In a way, this will remind me to snap more pictures of the both of us together.

I printed the photos on an A4 glossy paper using the Brother’s printer. I think I need to re adjust the printing settings to get the best quality photos.

Spend the best 2 hours in my Minci Cave. Today is another day of cleaning and sorting. What an awesome way to spend my Sunday.

My word for 2019

2018 was hard. New baby. New workplace. New job. And nature of work.

Banyak makan hati. Banyak marah. Penat. I had to pretend I do not care or ignore certain hurtful remarks especially when I wanted to start dieting or pick up an exercise. It was easier to be alone. Or just keep things to myself. Because well, I am just not interested in some of them opinions.

I can see that it will be the same this year. I need to choose my companions well. Who I spend time with or follow on Instagram. I need to set goals for myself. I need to find my JOY. Re-enact my PASSION. Cultivate my MOTIVATION.

Hence this year my word is BURN.

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God knows whether I go around with this BURNing desire to be the THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!!!  on a positive note all the time or end up kena bakar. HA HA HA.

I will be playing multiple roles in 2019. Both at work and outside. My extra curricular activities seem more interesting though. Haha. I have my doTERRA.AOF family, my Back TO School (BTS) committee buddies, HyperDime, HoboMinci, Wanita Besi Eropah clan and many more adventures. InsyaAllah. ha ha.. I mean, do not get me wrong.. I love being a medical doctor. Especially the clinical aspect of it. However, the passion in treating my patients is frequently dampened nowadays by the non clinical parts of it – percayalah, benda2 mcm tuh mmg ada.. sometimes, it gives me a wadahek headache.

So here is for 2019. Lets see if I could take more pictures of myself too.

8th wedding anniversary

For our 7th Wedding anniversary, there was no grand celebration. In fact, I was a bit moody because I just gave birth. I was tired and tetiba was whisked away to a foreign state. Kononnya nak holiday but I ended up miserable. For the rest of the year. LOL

At first I was a bit hesitant to celebrate our NOW 8th wedding anniversary. It’s on the 31st of December. Macam malas. But then I remembered that syaitan will always find a way to break a marriage. It can be through soft whispers of grudges, or make you feel useless, unattractive and such. So I put aside all those negative emotions and concentrated on the efforts of keeping a marriage together.

We are both tired. We both have superiors to answer too. We have our differences in personality, opinions, food, even movies but we could still come together as a team for ourselves and our kids. I think that is already a wonderful reason to celebrate.

I enlisted the help of midiatorpro for a fee of course to help me create a song with lyrics that I could use , somehow, in say… a video. The creative service they offered was The Story Song Service. Midiator Production also conducts workshops for songwriting and music production.

Alhamdulilah, I received the song just before my anniversary and funnily sung by a non professional vocalists (my brother, not that bad) and this was what I managed to come up with.

You saw it here first.

 

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What a wonderful way to end the year, kan?

 

The Sedekah Scene in NUR drama (TV3). My thoughts.

The Malay drama series, NUR was a big hit when it came out as it brings on very powerful messages. Concerning religion, relationship between human beings and good deeds.

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Towards the end of this short series, there was a scene of Nur’s mother, a senior prostitute crying in the streets as she was chased out of her own home by her greedy pimp. She was looking for Nur, her daughter, also a prostitute, saved from the ‘lorong’ by a young ustaz. Nur’s mother was alone, cold and hungry. Her presence was almost non-existent to the passersby despite the various ruckus she got into along the way. After searching for her daughter aimlessly in the big streets of the city, she finally caved in to her exhaustion and lay down motionless on the brick ground.

A man came from nowhere and saw her. He must have felt sorry for her and decided to give her a form of sedekah. He handed her money and walked away. She accepted the note. It was the only monetary sedekah she received for that day. She was grateful and tucked it safely in her blouse and lied back down in hunger.

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The sedekah she got was RM1. What decent meal or room or just a blanket can she ever get with RM1?

And that’s when I got a very powerful message of SEDEKAH. 

We are always told to give with IKHLAS. Meaning you do not have to give a lot, but just as much that you can out of sincerity. Hence, it tends to make you feel good when you feel that the RM 1 you gave, was out of ikhlas and that deed is redeemable for a pahala. Because you are ikhlas.

But we are never taught nor emphasized that the Sedekah we give should be Beneficial. Useful. Have worth. It is time we should start learning what form of Sedekah is proper for certain groups of people. This is because we want our gifts to be of use and the less fortunate could benefit from it.

Giving RM1 would be useful if you are raising funds to build a school or madrasah. But it would be of no value if you were to give it to the beggars in Africa for example. Donating a ripple mattress to a poor family whose family member has a stroke sounds good and helpful but if they are not financially apt – it will just be another mattress because they cannot afford to pay the electricity bills. Supplying a pre-packed grocery box consisting mini bag of rice, vermicelli, sauces, onions, sugar etc..  is commendable but if the family does not know how to prepare a simple meal – the purpose is defeated.

See?

Every problem has a customized solution. While there can be a temporary blanket measure, the root of the problem has to be investigated and solved accordingly. Until then, whenever you wish to sedekah, take a minute to just ask yourself if the receiving end would benefit from it.If it does, GIVE. InsyaAllah, your deeds will be rewarded.