Weaving the ketupat

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Eid is just around the corner and my clinic staffs were very eager to decorate the place and uplift the mood for Hari Raya. My task was to weave the ketupat. The face which sought my help was so hopeful that I mumbled a weak “sure” but had my mind racing to find that “file of anyam ketupat’ lost in my brain cells somewhere.

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My only lesson in weaving ketupat was what my Mother In Law taught me many years ago. Tapi punyalah bebal masa tu – satu ketupat pun tak berjaya. I understood the concept but my non-talented hands were not cooperating until recently. Perhaps its was a mix of determination , mild coercion, wanting to please sort of feeling which became the catalyst to succeed in this mission.

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On top of the basic ideas I kinda already knew, I looked up on some tutorial videos from Youtube. Ironically yang mengajarnya banyak lelaki. Ha ha. I studied one particular video for about an hour – buat practical at the same time and soon 1 ketupat which took me about 20 minutes to complete became a less than 5 minute job.

I felt accomplished. Perasan genius ada jugak. 

I am happy that I get to learn one more extra skill. Now I can enter that competition of weaving ketupat on our annual Haji Jamal family day. And occupy the last place competing with the more senior ladies. LOL.

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Quran Notes Marking Gathering (QNMG) – Melaka Edition 2018

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Before I stumbled upon Ayesha’s IG account – I was already doing some sort of marking in my mini Quran. It was not that organized but it was meant for me to find back the good dua’s and also reminders from the Quran. Naturally, the spark died but I was still hopeful to reconnect with the Quran and I began searching for hashtags of #quranjournalling #quranstudy for inspiration. One day I decided to try my luck and see if there was something as simple as #qurantagging and Pom! another interesting hashtag appear. It was #ayeshashares and that was how I got to know about these gatherings. Where girls get together and learn how to build a relationship with the Quran.

I remembered telling myself if ever QNMG is held in Melaka, I will sign up without hesitancy, without doubt. And since I believe that Allah akan mempermudahkan urusan kita apabila niat dan hasilnya baik, Ayesha did came to town. I paid the fees of RM300 online, cleared my schedule for the day and informed my husband not to have any locum and what not. If he still wants to go locum – he’d better figure out where to put the kids. I forwarded the event flyers to my other friends who I think would like to go too and alhamdulilah.. Kak Hasma (a former colleague) joined in. Senanglah skit nak yakinkan husband that its not an MLM thing I’m going because the venue was in a building that has ‘enterprise’ to its name.

“Eyy.. Im going with Kak Hasma ok”. macam tuhlah dialognya.

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The gathering started at 9AM and lasted the whole day. I was pretty sure I saw someone who looked like Felixia Yeap in my class that day but I was wrong. I still think its her. HA ha. The tagging part was just a minor part of the event, which was OK. We get to continue doing the tagging back home which was so fun and meaningful. The tazkirahs were just as lovely. It was like a big study circle. There were so many points to learn and muhasabah balik. Eventhough Ayesha was only 28 years old, the things she has learnt about our Deen speaks volumes through the stories she narrated and the materials in the Quran Kit.

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She elaborated her favourite hadith, talked about solah, emphasized on akhlak and taught us about Surah AlBaqarah. She gave us tips on how to construct a doa. She joked about the bawangs. She shared with us her dreams and her inspirational figures. It has to be one of my best Saturdays ever. Not a minute of my time being there was a complete loss. I loved it most when she said TAK RUGI BUAT BAIK. And that we should not let Syaitan plant the idea in our head that doing good deeds will lead to us being manipulated and taken for granted. Just do good, be good. Allah will be by our side. I personally like to do good things (most of the time), you know, stuff by the book because I honestly hope that my deeds will help carry me to Jannah as I have no strength to huffaz the Quran. Nor to pray extra on top of the obligatory ones. I struggle to fast. I feel I don’t have much knowledge to share with anyone. So I do good deeds. Simple nice things. To ease another persons hardship. To make them happy. To make me happy.

Like giving a smile. Saying kind words. Lending a helping hand. Comforting a lonely heart. Touching ones hands & hearts. Handing a ringgit or two for those who need it. Derma online. Sponsor an orphan. Buying a meal or keropok to the hungry. Supporting small businesses. Benda kecik2 mcm tuh.

The last LIVE tazkirah/study circle I attended was probably more than a decade a go. Bila dah kerja, dah jadi mak2 ni – I have trust issues to find a good study circle. And even if I do find one, my concern would be of allocating time to attend them. Naturally bila dah lama tak dengar hal2 agama – jiwa ni haus, kering. I should have brought some tissues there. Tiap kali dengar benda yg pilu, leleh air mata. Habis mascara I. Ayesha is such a humble and wonderful storyteller and yes, since she aspires to become our local version of Yasmin Mogahed – InsyaAllah her dreams will come true.

Thank you sis. I will try my best to be istiqamah in reading my Quran and doing good deeds everyday. InsyaAllah.

 

 

 

* Back from the gathering, Mr Husband asked, ” So did they talk using Sis a lot?” I just laughed and had to agree. Everything is Sis nowadays.

 

The pursuit of love in between him and him

My teaching session finished an hour earlier on Friday. So I made my way to Tesco to withdraw some money at the ATM machine and get my fix of carrot juice. I wanted my juice to go but the lady at the cashier forgot and not wanting to trouble her further, I just took the glass to the nearest table and took a sip.

Then this song belted out in the background of the already noisy food court. I sang along softly to my favourite part, “what are you waiting for???” and almost immediately I couldn’t help reminiscing on my past. The time when I was a fish in the sea (again) after a breakup with my asshole 1st boyfriend.  Yes, he broke up with me over Yahoo Messenger on the weekend just before my exams. Bangang rite. I think I resorted to controlled self destructive behaviour and made a bonfire with his paraphernalia.

A few months later, I had a string of dates with frogs to choose from. Hoping that one will become my prince. There were a few ” I will call you later” sorta dates. Sometimes from myself, others from them men. You just get that vibe of a relationship not happening from that one date. Things that put me off? Likely he had an opinion for almost everything on the planet, force me to talk about myself too much, too lackadaisical, pry too much on my previous relationship, too Islamic (I know, sorry).

Then there were those who made the initial cut. Only to discover later that he hates your housemates or your best girlfriends. Ada ke cakap “gelak kuat, macam laki, I tak suka”. Wahhhh.. goodbye dear. No future dates. No one gets to say bad things about my friends.

Then there were experiments. Well, just one. We were both from very different backgrounds. He was a non muslim to start with. In a way it was one of those relationships where you’re just not sure where it would be heading. We didn’t have a name for our relationship. If people ask whats with him having lunch with me – he will reply “pengyao (friend)“. Yet he treats me like I’m special. Vice versa. He would call me up at 0500AM as I get ready to go to work to take the morning bloods of sick babies – just to say Hi. We would have dinner together almost everyday even when we’re oncall, where we would steal time just to have 5 minutes together. It was nice while it lasted. Then after he went back home to Miri to visit his parents – the romance just ended. Like that. No proper goodbyes. It just ended. I think we were both puzzled as to why it ended. Wait, I think I know why. I found out he was seeing another girl there. Someone of the same background. Takpela.. I faham. I redha. I think the soundtrack of my life at the time was Black Eyed Peas song “Meet me halfway” for this particular chapter. Frust jugak but terkawal. We can still work together as housemans.

In less than a year, I met my husband during my surgical posting. He was far from romantic but he was responsible. And intelligent. He was willing to replace my partner in the operating theatre who was on Emergency Leave (EL) that day. Coincidentally we were scheduled to be in the OT of a very boisterous and demanding surgeon that no one liked. I called up the ward asking for a volunteer and was prepared to be ‘bam-booed’ the whole day until this tall, gallant, fearless, chivalrous guy by the name of Syafiq came. He was technically towering over the shorter surgeon. The mood in that OT somehow changed – I was suddenly the reliable houseman who could hold the camera very still due to my low pusat graviti and my husband was very alert and quick to obey instructions.

We didn’t start dating until I left my surgical posting though. And the rest is history. Our love story was not dramatic enough for Ellie Gouldings song. Nor is Michael Bubles Home cause that reminds me of Italy (another wonderful chapter of my life). OMG.. we don’t have a soundtrack for this chapter of my life. I need to find one.

 

2018 Resolutions

It’s what people do every year – hoping for a good start. Looking back on my 2017 resolutions, they are quite vague. No wonder I did not achieve much but I still enjoyed life all the same. Still feel empowered. Cuma macam aimless sometimes. Ya lah.. living like a hippie.

REFLECTION

2017 was a year of closure I suppose. It’s like the end of say, a trilogy. Or a series. It was the end of my chapter in the district hospital. And it ended with me popping out a baby girl from my tummy. Which gives me time to collect myself and make a debut as that new doc in the clinic. mehh.. 

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My 6 years in the district facility was a fruitful detour. A wonderful break. I needed that stint of time to blossom into a person with character. Kononnya. I want people to identify me as my own and not as someones wife or daughter in law or sister. Be like Dato Siti Nurhaliza you know. The public identifies her as who she is and not as Datuk K’s wife. Hence to be like that you have to create your own persona. Crave your own success. It will be difficult though as Mr husbands aura seems to be stronger but it’s OK, #siscuba.

2018 RESOLUTION

  1. LOSE WEIGHT – that one resolution all Malaysians have in common across any breed or creed. Only this time, I would try harder and be more systematic. Meaning food diary, counting calories and work out more. This is fueled by 2 TOP MOTIVATING FACTOR which is one, I need to fit into that little space in our bed without the risk of falling to the floor. That MOM space – the little strip left for you to sleep after your husband, pillows, plushies and co-sleeping kids have conquered before you. And reason No 2, so I could be lighter on my feet as my Plantar Fasciitis is killing me. I literally had to wear sneakers in the house sometimes because my heels hurt. And that heel pain in the morning when you wake up and land your foot on the floor is just excruciating.
  2. TAKE MORE PHOTOS OF MYSELF – I am already struggling to find a photo of myself for this post. I tend to put others needs before me. It’s something I do out of habit, I think. And when it comes to keeping memories, I’d be the one taking photos of my family more than they do for me. I guess it started with that inferiority complex of looking like a whale in pictures which deters me from snapping a photo followed by me being engulfed by my role as a wife and mother. However, having read an article somewhere about how we want our family to remember us women as an individual of her own… I feel I need to appreciate myself more. Now how do I explain this? Remember who you were before you met him? before you had kids? Remember what you loved to do before them? so yes, take that picture of you dancing maybe. Or reading a book. Or hitting those drums, plucking the guitar, singing the song. it could be just you kicking a storm in the kitchen, watching a chick flick like you’re single and in love. in essence – a picture of just you alone, doing you. DO YOU.
  3. BRING MY PARENTS FOR VACATIONS OR GET TOGETHERS MORE – my younger sister has been doing it better than me. She brings them to theme parks, the beach.. even weekend hi-tea is already considered great. So yes, 2018 should be the year I incorporate my parents more in my life. I aim for at least 2 big get togethers.
  4. AGAIN, READ MORE – more fictions MInci. do book exchange. make use of that POPULAR membership card. this year I also intent to explore the world of #quranjournalling

That should be about it. Have a good 2018 everyone.

share with me your resolutions.