The Shopee Haul. Part uno.

Stress (disappointment) + Fatigue + IHaveMoneyInMyBankAccount ..

… led me to a shopping spree online last week. And now I have to pay the price to keep myself put at home waiting for my nonsense stuff to arrive. No jalan2 or poya2 merata-rata. Mesti tunggu posmen. Good thing though because it’s so challenging to bring Ninie. I don’t remember feeling very anxious bringing Ee out when he was a baby. In fact, I could easily drive back to Jenjarom with him strapped in the child carseat without an ounce of fear.

Perhaps it’s the world nowadays. Setan behind the mask of innocent looking faces. I wouldn’t even let a stranger makcik to hold NInie. Not even a short cuddle. To me, EVERYONE IS EVIL. EVERYONE WANTS SOMETHING FROM ME. Then there’s reckless drivers on the road. Insane, young,hormonal driven adults in the malls.  Ohgosh.. I’m a paranoid mom. AM I?

Back to my haul. Initially I had NINE parcels to wait on. I had to cancel one as per requested by the seller because she has an emergency at her kampung and she couldn’t deliver the items. my guess is – the item is out of stock. Tapi takpelah.. got refund. but I really wanted that washing machine rack. it would look neat in the kitchen.

Most of my items are planner related stuff.

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Then, there’s MISSHA. I had to get my foundation from Shopee because Hermo was selling it at a retail price of RM79. I  have paid for it cheaper…so hell no am I going to fork out that much money. This is my 5th year using MISSHA and did I tell you it’s TIME REVOLUTION ESSENCE is the bomb?  It cost less than SKII and I think it does an equally good job. I glow without makeup. And I look like I had a shower too. Good for early morning school runs. thank god for wearing a hijab as well. Takdelah mcm hantu mak limah sgt..

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And of course I need to buy a white elephant item like a cereal dispenser which was not practical in this country. First, it is not airtight. Secondly, ants always finds a way to share your cereals. And now I have to find a place  to hide it from my husband before he comes back from his Sakura Science Programme in Japan. The ants had a buffet with my healthy cereals. Huhu.

I still have 5 more parcels on the way. And that is part Deux.

 

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Mission marah laki aborted for 3 reasons…

Initially I wanted to write about the 26 things I SUPER hate about my husband and the list goes on sorta post, but mission soon got aborted. Like really, that 26 things is newly compiled since I gave birth to Ninie till now. The things he did, he said.. and what not. The stunts that drive me up the wall, the words that made me cry while washing the dishes, the actions that made me want to have cancer and just die. Yeah.. it can be that bad.

But like I said, Mission aborted. WHY?

Because ONE, I thought of the good things he did.

TWO, Because I made an effort to put a rationale to every single thing that he did. Like he is stressed with his study module and the only way he knows how to vent is towards his little, cute, pretty, very patient wife. He doesn’t scream or shout or smack me in the face or anything. It’s that tone. The sarcasm that kills me. And did I mention how his silent treatment hurts just as bad? Still its OK, Minci can overcome this.

Usually, I’ll just draw a stick version of him in my journal and conteng like voodoo. Or pray that people say he looks fat or something (he dislikes being called berisi – cause once he reaches home.. he’d be on an intensive exercise regime to burn off the fat). Sometimes I pray he’ll come face to face with a bitch he can’t handle. Of course, he would say he was the better one bla bla bla.. but I know.. ko terseksa kan sebenarnya… huhuhu.

Finally, THREE – he just told me he bought me two new bags and some other Kawaii stuff too from Japan. So, I bersyukur  and kept the list away first. perhaps I should wait until there’s 30 on it.

 

Ee’s first day of school

The first day of school is also any parents second worst nightmare. I was worried that Ee couldn’t adjust to the idea of keeping to time and following the rules. He still doesn’t understand the concept of money and change. To him, anything that is RM1 is cheap. so when he goes to the co-op and saw a RM1 sharpener – to him it is a bargain. I, on the other hand, almost got a heart attack. Nasiblah duit belanja dia RM2 je sehari.  I also hope that he wouldn’t upset anybody in his class or the bigger kids in school. BUlly still remains the number one thing I’m afraid of.

We had an Orientation Day a few days before formal schooling starts. Apart from getting the kids to be familiar with the surroundings of the school – parents were also briefed on the basic rules and regulations of the institution. At the end of the day, it’s all about working together as a team so the children of tomorrow could have a bright future.

EE is still enjoying school so far. Weird how he’d say “yeay.. yeay.. pergi sekolah” every morning. His favourite subject so far is Science but thats because the teacher is hilarious. He said the teacher will punish them with hugs and kisses if they forget their homework or books. LOL.

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1st day of school with a special request Bento : Spaghetti

In the afternoon, he goes to the Religious School where he learns about Islam and Quran. The school is like 10 steps from the grandparents house. Just beside his old kindergarten too, practically within the same compound.

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His not so secret admirers. who were looking for him in preschool only to discover that he’s in big boy school now.

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overall, he enjoys school but yeah, I need to work on a few things. for instance;

  1. To be more alert of his surroundings : it’s either he is pekak or he just doesn’t register certain things in his head
  2. To be less forgetful – almost always it’d be like he forgot what he learnt that day or who that teacher was. nasiblah tau jamban kat ne
  3. Not to trust strangers – I was giving him scenarios of people trying to pick him up from school and people offering food. twist skit citer, terus ikut masuk van.
  4. Spending money wisely – oh boy, this is going to be tough.

 

All in all, this  is a learning curve for me too. huhu..

 

Hanging up the Scrubs

Maybe for good.

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Let me just spin this song I like to listen to whenever I feel melancholic and not appreciated. hah gitew.. syahdu right..

I have mixed feelings about this. I remember this particular whirlwind emotion. It has an emoji of its own. The Minci Emoji. It’s the exact feeling I had many years ago when I was also faced with a difficult, life changing decision. It’s a mix between ‘arghhh tak suka tak suka tapi terpaksa’ with ‘i can do this’ with ‘i am going to be sad forever and ever but still smiling’ with ‘come on Minci, they can throw you to the wolves and you’ll come back leading the pack’. Get  it?

Back then, I chose whats RIGHT over how I FELT. Kononnya BRAIN over HATI DAN PERASAAN.

I chose a situation that could lead me to JALAN YANG LURUS instead of FUN and COMFORTABLE.

Indeed, that decision paid off. It was the RIGHTFUL decision I made. Do I still think about it? Of what would have happen if I chose to walk the other road? Of course I did – who wouldn’t if it was accompanied with a bucket of tears. Just like the one I’m experiencing at the moment. Another RIGHTFUL decision.

But it is the BEST decision for now. It’s like what Oprah said

YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL. JUST NOT ALL AT ONCE

I loved what I was doing – I think it was the adrenaline rush. And of course the type of people I met along the way. If you love the nature of your job, you don’t really give a damn about the birocracy that happened within the institution you know. You just concentrate on making your sick patients well again. And you do it in a team with My Person [read : Greys Anatomy ]

BUT – it was a job that did not get me anywhere when it comes to progressing in your career. I did not make through the screening process for the Masters Programme – TWICE. Yes, I had additional responsibilities seen fit for my pay grade but it was just that. I was still going to be just a medical officer. but more senior, so called more experienced .. yet I still have to commute 27km daily to and fro, do oncalls and night shifts. Which can be taxing and dangerous sometimes when I have to go home from a shift at 12 midnight passing through the dark areas. At the end of the day, I  am the Medical Officer that could be quoted upon . Like you know how some people like to say, ” Kak Minci yang ajar buat camni” when they’re caught doing something wrong. HAHAHA.

Since this particular situation was seen through the perspective of people who mattered to me most (family), the argument is.. you can still serve the ill as a medical officer in a clinic setting. It’ll be InsyaAllah closer to home, office hours – well there might be programmes on the weekend but at least my nights are free. So I could tuck the kids to bed and check their homework and rise early the next morning to prepare their Bento. Kids tend to remember the times when you were not there for them at times when they need you most. Regardless of how many mornings you’re home to make Dorayaki for breakfast.

So yup – It was great to meet you Anaesthesia and Emergency Medicine. I hope to bump into you one day. but errr.. not as a patient though. I wish for a better beginning – my friends are convincing me that I would have a better quality of life. Thanks ladies. Then maybe I could arrange Me Time better – the spa, the journaling sessions, more blogging stuff. YEAY.

I did realize ONE GLARING thing though. That when it comes to WORK or as a work colleague – you are replaceable. Petik jari, somebody is already in line to be trained as good as you. And after a few sad emoji’s, goodluck wishes and such on Whatsapp and friendly exchanges of ‘why the transfer’ and what not – in just an instance Minci is already a distant memory. New BFF circles are formed. It is normal. Take home note – do not love your job excessively. It does not love you back just as much.

2018 Resolutions

It’s what people do every year – hoping for a good start. Looking back on my 2017 resolutions, they are quite vague. No wonder I did not achieve much but I still enjoyed life all the same. Still feel empowered. Cuma macam aimless sometimes. Ya lah.. living like a hippie.

REFLECTION

2017 was a year of closure I suppose. It’s like the end of say, a trilogy. Or a series. It was the end of my chapter in the district hospital. And it ended with me popping out a baby girl from my tummy. Which gives me time to collect myself and make a debut as that new doc in the clinic. mehh.. 

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My 6 years in the district facility was a fruitful detour. A wonderful break. I needed that stint of time to blossom into a person with character. Kononnya. I want people to identify me as my own and not as someones wife or daughter in law or sister. Be like Dato Siti Nurhaliza you know. The public identifies her as who she is and not as Datuk K’s wife. Hence to be like that you have to create your own persona. Crave your own success. It will be difficult though as Mr husbands aura seems to be stronger but it’s OK, #siscuba.

2018 RESOLUTION

  1. LOSE WEIGHT – that one resolution all Malaysians have in common across any breed or creed. Only this time, I would try harder and be more systematic. Meaning food diary, counting calories and work out more. This is fueled by 2 TOP MOTIVATING FACTOR which is one, I need to fit into that little space in our bed without the risk of falling to the floor. That MOM space – the little strip left for you to sleep after your husband, pillows, plushies and co-sleeping kids have conquered before you. And reason No 2, so I could be lighter on my feet as my Plantar Fasciitis is killing me. I literally had to wear sneakers in the house sometimes because my heels hurt. And that heel pain in the morning when you wake up and land your foot on the floor is just excruciating.
  2. TAKE MORE PHOTOS OF MYSELF – I am already struggling to find a photo of myself for this post. I tend to put others needs before me. It’s something I do out of habit, I think. And when it comes to keeping memories, I’d be the one taking photos of my family more than they do for me. I guess it started with that inferiority complex of looking like a whale in pictures which deters me from snapping a photo followed by me being engulfed by my role as a wife and mother. However, having read an article somewhere about how we want our family to remember us women as an individual of her own… I feel I need to appreciate myself more. Now how do I explain this? Remember who you were before you met him? before you had kids? Remember what you loved to do before them? so yes, take that picture of you dancing maybe. Or reading a book. Or hitting those drums, plucking the guitar, singing the song. it could be just you kicking a storm in the kitchen, watching a chick flick like you’re single and in love. in essence – a picture of just you alone, doing you. DO YOU.
  3. BRING MY PARENTS FOR VACATIONS OR GET TOGETHERS MORE – my younger sister has been doing it better than me. She brings them to theme parks, the beach.. even weekend hi-tea is already considered great. So yes, 2018 should be the year I incorporate my parents more in my life. I aim for at least 2 big get togethers.
  4. AGAIN, READ MORE – more fictions MInci. do book exchange. make use of that POPULAR membership card. this year I also intent to explore the world of #quranjournalling

That should be about it. Have a good 2018 everyone.

share with me your resolutions.