Easily Kesian. Forgive them.

I thought I am a woman with a high ego. Only to find that later I will lower it down upon a Cold War with the husband or in the face of a confrontation with anybody, if it is for a greater good. contoh paling simple. Patient kata aku salah. aku tak salah. tapi aku minta maaf jugak. At that moment, I can feel my EGO sliding down to the ground, carik longkang, menyusur masuk sungai, pergi laut dan terapung sorang2.

Two things caught my attention this week on Facebook.

One of Azizan Osman and his 1 MILLION motivation speech. To be honest, I don’t mind him making money as a motivator for entrepreneur. It is in a way macam having someone to resurrect your inner ability and power to achieve more. Some argue that he doesn’t even own a business and yet is earning millions. Modal air liur je, they say. Well, looking at his from an introvert point of view, that air liur is his gift. So is his self esteem and confidence. And he is using that in a way that could earn him a living. My only problem is of him having to put out all this false credentials and title. You want a phd title, you work for it. Tu yang jadi masalahnya.

Similarly kalau Ebit Lew tetiba tak reti baca Quran rupanya, yang tuh pun aku akan marah.

In response to Azizan’s 1 MILLION story, I came across a screenshot of this guy on Twitter posting tweets of questions and answers, mostly with elements of body shaming. That is just a vile way of retaliating. Gemuk2 jangan mainlah. That is not nice. Consequently of courselah I rasa kesian kat Azizan Osman. Attacking someone based on how they look is just not professional.

Easily kesian. Forgive him.

The second thing that caught my attention was about Kluster Sivagangga. We all know already the index case, Nezar Mohamed Sabur Batcha has COVID-19, has been on trial, found guilty and issued punishments accordingly. On the news today, over 200 individuals affected by the ‘cluster’ will file a case against the Nasi Kandar owner, as advised by ‘a lawyer’ – to serve as a lesson for everybody else to not flunk the quarantine.

“Tuntutan saman ini dibuat berdasarkan nasihat peguam bagi memberi pengajaran kepada semua orang supaya tidak sewenang-wenangnya melanggar arahan kuarantin sehingga menyebabkan virus Covid-19 merebak,” katanya.

Question being..
“Peguam mana tu”

The man dah mengaku bersalah – has Covid 19, will be jailed and fined RM12K. I cannot help feeling kesian for this index case man. It’s like sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga. The motive behind this saman thing was said to stem from victims being shunned by outsiders and failed businesses. I can understand the business part but the psychological aspect – seriously, you would feel better when you win the saman a.k.a duit? People will welcome you in their homes and premises once they know you won some money?

Oh. lUpa. in some parts of the country – Cash is King.

The Nasi Kandar man’s decision to not quarantine himself is likely because of poor understanding of Covid-19 or the ‘tak apa’ attitude – the kind of attitude you see in patients in the clinic who refuses insulin or high blood pressure medications. He is already paying a hefty price for his ignorance. Ingat sedap duduk penjara? Kena denda? Aku pun tak cukup duit nak bayar denda RM12K.

I really hope that those who are greatly affected will reach an amicable decision with the Nasi Kandar owner. There is no denying that what he did was wrong but his intentions may not be malicious to begin with, more like ignorance. Perhaps selfish is the word.

Maybe the 200 people are similarly selfish. Elok sangat lah tuh. fuhh.. 200 people.. kena screen betul2 tu. Kang ada yang menunggang saman. At times like this, nak nasihat BERSABAR pun no use .. since they are already really pissed off.

Emerging NGI’s in Malaysia

There is no right & wrong way to be kind to another human being. As long as it brings a difference towards the better to the person at the other end, that is a big alhamdulilah. In the spirit of Ramadhan and restrictions arising from the Covid-19 pandemic, Malaysians have witnessed the rise of a few samaritans and philantropists.

NGI – Non Governmental Individuals

Some argue that you should not show the deed. Personally to me, if you have the star power and ability to influence a huge group of people, why not. Netizens favourites nowadays is Ebit Lew, Uncle Kwan & Syed Azmi. Of course, there are others behind the limelight doing their bits to serve humanity such as KakRed, Noorinora and but let’s focus on these 3 NGI’s for the sake of this blog entry.



Rina benarkan Syed Azmi sumbang tenaga sepanjang krisis Covid-19
photo credit: malaysiagazette.com

I had the opportunity to listen to him speak about his work during IMAM’s conference about 2 years ago. He laid down a very important framework on how anybody can become an NGI. Everyone can donate something. Everyone can menderma. His BIG FIVE ways of contributing include Duit, Tenaga, Masa, Ilmu and Doa.


Mr Syed Azmi deals with heavy issues as opposed to just giving a family a grocery basket or financial assistance like rape victims, domestic abuse, children issues. His work involves saving those in distress and placing them in a safe community so they could overcome the trauma, sustain their lives and improve their standards of living. Hence, at times we can see him breaking down, frustrated, merajuk and a roller coaster of emotions because these problems are real plus nerve-wrecking and that is how any normal human being would respond to it. Sometimes the law works in favor of him and at other times, against him and his efforts. Despite the hiccoughs, he always managed to pick himself up, recharge and continue what he has started.


Kuan Chee Heng : Bukti Sifat Kemanusiaan Masih Wujud | Iluminasi
Photo credit : iluminasi.com

A former policeman, Mr Kwan Chee Heng is a Chinese samaritan famously known as Uncle Kentang. He defies dirty politics and bureaucracy. He was one of the NGI’s who helped me realize the importance of giving focused help and connecting with the community.

He operated the Van Jenazah with 24hours access by getting keys from the selected mamak eatery. His groceries package are personalized meaning an Indian family may need different items compared to a Malay family etc. That was eye-opening for me. Not everyone wants noodles and the same type of flour.


Mula Masuk Islam Sejak Umur 12 Tahun, Ini Biodata Lengkap ...
Photo credit : says.com

An islamic motivator, an apprentice of Datuk Dr Fadzilah Kamsah so much so that people associate him as an ustaz. Some consider him as part of tabligh, the good ones. Indeed, despite being a revert, he has the knowledge and his message is simple,


Whatever that we go through, it is because ALLAH SAYANG KITA. To me, he is a philantropist. When you do not have strings that tie you down and have the financial freedom to take care of the welfare of other human beings – this is what one should aspire to become. He has the money, time, knowledge, manpower and makes doa as well for every family he assists. Whilst other aspiring NGIs like myself , may be limited by funds, time and manpower – he was able to champion it all. How nice it would be to serve humanity without having to think about the law, money etc. How wonderful it is to just give, give and give.

I learnt a lot about charity work from these individuals and these are the BIG FIVE lessons I have gathered so far.

  1. It gets easier doing it with a team on the condition that you know how to pool and coordinate your resources.
  2. To have money is a huge strength to drive a cause. Without it, it is quite a challenge to get things where they have to be. I am not talking about bribes or anything. It’s just that while in some charitable acts, you may only need manpower – most of those in need requires financial assistance to move forward.
  3. Communication is important. We do not want to upset local authorities that may hinder future efforts. At the same time, we do not want the charitable gestures to be misconstrued. Yes, it can be a form of CSR to companies but lets try not to make it look like a gimmick.
  4. Apart from just offering help, they also actively look and search into the communities for those who are in need. This I feel is important because sometimes the marginalized members of the community may not know how to seek for help in the first place. Even so, some may not have the basic means to do so. They may not have phones, transport or even illiterate. Sedih, kan?
  5. Charity is continuous. Giving is not something they do in Ramadhan or near festive seasons. Their assistance spans throughout the whole year! This requires mental health stamina, support of loved ones, reliable contacts and networking. Not many people could do that but we hear of these 3 NGI’s activities all year round.

I have yet to see a government based NGI doing these on a large scale. Perhaps they are like me – worried of consequences that may tarnish the image of the government. We might step on toes of people who has certain interest in mine. Plus, when you are in a gov sector – everything is tertakluk to arahan and anything you plan to do, you need to have kertas kerja, surat and kelulusan. Even in your private time, you want to go for a holiday overseas, you still need to inform the kementerian. It’s part and parcel of being a civil servant. We respect that requirement.

Hence, if I intend to become an NGI, I must learn to navigate around my responsibilities, red tapes and what not. Jangan dipakaikan baju pada yang miskin, hingga diri sendiri terpaksa berte-lanjang. Know your limitations, educate yourself and learn from those around you. InsyaAllah for every good deed, Allah will bestow His rewards accordingly.

COVID-19. A change in routine

17th April 2020 – this is Day 31 of the RMO. Upgraded to the MCO for at least the past 2 weeks. Both Mr Husband and I are still required to go to work since we are part of the Essential Services workforce. We have mixed feelings about it. Part of it is this positive emotion driven by Altruism and at the other hand is the fear of contracting the disease from unknowing, asymptomatic carriers.

The roads are empty except for a few cars. Children and other vulnerable members of the society are keeping themselves inside their homes to avoid risk of contracting the disease. Despite the early fear and panic-buying among citizens, the hype slowly died down and we see people shopping more responsibly.

“There is no emergency in a pandemic”

Truth be told, you could be dying of a heart attack but if I don’t know your COVID status or risk, you would have to wait until I don my PPE fully. Which is part of the reason why we need people to stay indoors. To minimise risk, break the chain. All healthcare services are playing their part to manage this pandemic. We may not be the one working in hospitals but we all have shoes to fill. Medicine is practiced differently in primary care. I can only say for what we are doing at my centre though.

  1. Appointments are postponed. If patients have demonstrated good control of their disease during previous visits, we would endorse a prescription for at least a month. However we would still see those with horrible personal disease management and pray that they will do well and not go into a DKA or Hypertensive Crisis.
  2. All coughs, cold & fever are treated like something BIG. We get agitated if a patient penetrates the screening counter for fever and enter the consultation room. This is because these patients are supposedly triaged and seen at the Fever Center. Whereas those at risk of COVID-19 will be seen at the isolation room (bilik wabak).
  3. HANDWASHING has become a common practice not only among HCW but also patients.
  4. Seats in the waiting area are spaced out for Social Distancing and reinforced dutifully. In the consultation room, the patient is also sat at a distance and would perform physical examination as necessary.
  5. Medical officers are not wearing wristwatches and are bringing their personal items in easily disinfected carrier bags.
  6. I can get to work before time (as always ) . Only perks now, parking is easy to find. I really love that part.

Family life has also taken a different routine.

  1. Since daycare and formal school is closed, the kids have been shipped to their grandparents house very morning by my husband and I will collect them every evening. Previously, we were sending our kids separately to where they need to go.
  2. Husband has been the one buying the groceries as operating hours are limited and its much easier for him to get them on his way back from work. In the meantime, I could get house chores or dinner done and have the kids washed up.
  3. Husband is working EVERYDAY for long hours. Office hours doesn’t mean anything to him anymore. He is in Public Health and whenever a pandemic strikes, they are the ones working behind the scene coordinating and keeping track with the numbers. His task this time is to handle the reten. The states data.
  4. GrabFood and FoodPanda riders have become our best friends bringing food to house.

Spending Habits

I find that I have more cash to spare nearing payday in a weeks time. This is after deducting the necessary monthly payments and all. I am still paying for my loans and childcare services. On top of my moms monthly allowances, donations and what not. It made me think of how my expenditures were prior to this. It made me wonder what I spent my money on despite my efforts of being frugal.

I realized it’s in the little things that later add up to become more. It is those little ringgits that make all the difference.

  1. I either bring pre-packed food from home, fast, buy a bun or rely on food donations for lunch.
  2. I have also cut down on my DOTERRA LRP purchases. I still enjoy the products but nowadays I buy only as needed. I controlled my urges to buy another diffuser or just so my to achieve a 100PV order to get my commission. It is because if I calculate back my expenditures, I feel that there is no need for me to spend RM600 per month to get RM300 back in return, when the ‘rasa untung‘ part can still be attained if I spend only RM250 for the month.
  3. The bookstore, POPULAR is closed. That means I save at least a few hundred ringgit from my casual stroll in the store to buy books or magazines that keep on adding onto my TBR list.
  4. My free Friday afternoons are spent resting/studying in the clinic as opposed to outings at the nearest shopping mall. There alone, I am saving from the trips I go to Watson, Popular (again) and a fancy lunch.
  5. Visits to Family Mart has also been interrupted as I fear coming across a roadblock just to get a Sando or my Bubble MIlk Tea. So far I have managed to visit FM once in this 1 month of MCO and its because it is coincidentally near the place I work. Once instead of the weekly visit.
  6. Since Mr Husband is buying the groceries, I guess I did in a way save a few hundred ringgit as well because of that. I used to get foodstuff using my money so hey, extra savings there!

We will be celebrating Ramadhan during MCO. This means no bazaar. In a way, I am grateful for that. At least, tak banyak makanan yang terbazir during bazaar and iftar at hotels. We should start observing Ramadhan as how it should be done with humbleness and gratitude by thinking of the poor and unfortunate, more prayers , sedekah and quran reciting.

How has Covid-19 made changes to your life? Were they mostly positive changes or it made life more miserable for you?

Covid-19. Minci was there.

This is a post circulating in my news feed on Facebook. I think it deserves a spot here too.


Peristiwa ini akan terpahat sebagai sejarah penting negara. Hari ini 15 April, sejarah besar dalam bidang pendidikan..

Peperiksaan UPSR dibatalkan
PT3 dibatalkan
SPM dan STPM ditangguhkan sehingga Mac 2021

Takkan sesekali aku lupa, setahun sekali FB akan remind. Jika panjang umur, kita akan membaca, mengingati dan mengimbau kejadian ini, walaupun ia bukanlah kenangan manis untuk kita kenang. 😭

18 MAC – 31 MAC 2020 fasa 1
01 APR – 14 APR2020 fasa 2
15 APR – 28 APR 2020 fasa 3

Perintah Kawalan Pergerakan seluruh MALAYSIA

📍 harga minyak jatuh sehingga RM1.25/liter

📍Semua pejabat di seluruh Malaysia diarah tutup sepanjang Perintah Kawalan Pergerakan (PKP) dan kerja – kerja dilaksanakan sepenuhnya dari rumah.

📍Semua sekolah dan pendidikan dilaksanakan di atas talian. Anak- anak mula rindu akan sekolah.

📍Penjarakkan sosial sentiasa diutamakan

📍Pita pelekat dilekatkan di atas lantai – lantai kedai untuk menentukan jarak selamat 1 meter di antara pelanggan

📍 Restoran dan kedai – kedai makan ditutup, hanya dibenarkan bungkus sahaja.

📍Hanya beberapa orang sahaja dibenarkan berada di dalam kedai.

📍Kedai bukan keperluan asas dan perniagaan tidak berkaitan pembekalan makanan diarah tutup.

📍Keseluruhan acara dan musim sukan di seluruh dunia dibatalkan serta merta

📍 Konsert, perlancongan, festival, acara hiburan dibatalkan.

📍Majlis perkahwinan dan pelbagai sambutan majlis bersama keluarga dibatalkan.

📍Tiada lagi jemaah di masjid, dan rumah – rumah ibadat ditutup. Tiruppati, Mekkah, Vatican city ditutup pintu sepenuhnya.

📍Tidak dibenarkan perkumpulan 50 orang atau lebih, kemudian diubah kepada 20 org atau lebih, hanya dibenarkan 10 orang atau kurang dari itu dibenarkan.

📍Taman permainan kanak – kanak ditutup.

📍Kekurangan stok penutup muka, gaun,
dan sarung tangan untuk kegunaan pekerja barisan hadapan.

📍Kekurangan alat bantuan pernafasan
bagi pesakit kritikal.

📍Berlakunya pembelian panik sehingga kekurangan alat pembasmian, tiada sabun cuci tangan, tiada cecair pembersih tangan

📍Rak – rak di kedai menjadi kosong.

📍Kilang – kilang pembuatan, kilang penyulingan dan perniagaan lain telah menukar perkhidmatan mereka dengan membantu menyediakan visors, penutup muka, cecair pencuci tangan dan PPE.

📍Kerajaan telah melaksanakan sekatan jalan di setiap kawasan dan tertutup kepada pergerakan yang tidak penting.

📍Tiket kapal terbang murah, namun kita tidak boleh keluar melancong.

📍Sidang media dari Kementerian Kesihatan di keudarakan setiap hari.

📍Kemaskini kes baru, yang telah sembuh dan pesakit yang meninggal dunia dilakukan setiap hari.

📍 Jalan raya menjadi kosong tanpa kelibat manusia.

📍Ramai orang memakai penutup muka dan sarung tangan apabila keluar.

📍 Pekerja perkhidmatan penting menjadi takut untuk keluar rumah.

📍Pekerja kesihatan pula, menjadi takut untuk pulang ke rumah dan berjumpa keluarga.

📍 “Mendatarkan lengkung graf” itulah yang sering dikatakan, bersama dengan kata-kata ” Kita lakukan ini bersama” dan “Kita harus menang”

Ini adalah Novel Coronavirus ( Covid-19) suatu penyakit pandemik, yang diwartakan pada 18 mac 2020 😭😭😭😭

Ambuyat challenge : what was wrong with it

A lovely Malaysian Instafamous couple was under fire recently for their own personal Ambuyat Challenge. 

Ambuyat is a dish derived from the interior trunk of the sago palm. It is a starchy bland substance, similar to tapioca starch

Image result for ambuyat is

To those not in the know of who this couple is, the pair are founders for a local beauty product, NSA Beauty. They both work very hard as an individual and even harder when they became husband and wife. The wife, Syafiqah Aina (SA) was a renowned Muslimah model in Malaysia and was a good one at that. They enjoy displaying their affection out loud in public and announce their love for each other through grand celebrations of birthdays and such. I mean, why not… since they have the means to do so being successful business icons.

So on one fine day during their work trip to Brunei, the husband challenged the wife to try the ambuyat. I have personally tried ambuyat or linut as it is known in Sarawak, and it is a dish which may not be palatable to everybody. It is an acquired taste. So it should be simple to understand that not everyone may like the dish including the wife, SA. Everyone has the right to not like certain food. It’s a matter of preference.

So what went wrong?

SA’s dislike towards the dish was recorded on video in a public space. Naturally, anybody would demonstrate a certain facial expression when they try something strange. But not everyone would exaggerate the response. And make a scene. Unfortunately, SA was the very few who did otherwise. She had a face of disgust and purged without a single filter in the world.

Personally, I think the most appropriate response towards a dish that you do not enjoy would be to just stop eating, decline the next serving politely and just mention it is something not to your liking. And perhaps you can try try something else. If you must purge, do it quietly in a napkin.

You do not retch loudly in plain sight with other customers at the place, run towards the end of the table, grab a tissue and make sensitive comments. It’s acts like these that makes people piss off. Imagine the cook preparing their traditional dish with great pride for a non-local to try it, only to be met by such response. I would be sad. It would be enough with an expression of ‘hhmmmm.. mungkin saya tak pandai makan ni. Tapi terima kasih tau.. ” 

The video the husband made was met with critics. (of course lah.. ) He however in defense, said that it was meant to promote ambuyat to other people. Well, all I can say is.. it sure is a weird method of promoting ambuyat. I really hope they learn a few points or two from this incident cause I still think that despite being young, they are still lovely.