It’s a trending reel on Instagram. I had thought of jumping into that healing method as well but never got around to doing so. The ‘miss her’ part is often substituted by heaves of silent sighs. Macam ada feeling tak complete although when I try to remember back, I don’t really talk to my mom that often when she was alive. I was just never the talking about my life type. Even then, Alhamdulillah, Allah bestowed upon me a daughter.
She is a charm. She seems to have a high degree of emotional intelligence for a child that surprises me sometimes. She would ask me if I was Ok. If I was happy? I mean, what kind of child asks an adult those sorts of questions. I know my son doesn’t and he is in primary school. My kids are my world. My daughter especially. If anything happens to her, I think I would hit rock bottom.
Today, I finally got around to cleaning the guest room. We haven’t been receiving guests for a very long time since Covid19 struck. The room had that abandoned, musty smell. I opened the windows to air it out. Hoovered the floor and changed the bedsheets. Then, I saw something on the dresser and was automatically brought to tears.
It was my mom’s crystal bracelet.
It’s been in that room for god knows how long and if I didn’t clean it, I’d probably not know that it was there all this time. A piece of her. To keep. I had to take a moment to calm myself down when I found the bracelet. I thought I’ve passed the time where one would be missing their loved ones deeply but it seems that I haven’t. Instead, I realized that I have always missed her and those feelings are suppressed by the stress at work and the busyness in managing the household.
Grief is love with nowhere to go
I asked my sister if it was OK for me to keep the bracelet. In case she loved the design. She said I could keep it. I couldn’t really explain that feeling of comfort I have when I wear the bracelet. At least bila tak dapat ziarah kubur, I have this bracelet sebagai pengubat rindu.
Mr Husband bought me a Samsung A32 for our anniversary gift last week. I was using an A7 before that which is still in good condition although it has suffered quite a few concussions over the years. The battery, storage and general functions are still at its peak despite using it for the last 3 years. It was quite hard to switch to a new phone because of the memories it hold inside. Took a lot of photos and kept a lot of important documents on the phone.
Anyway, as Paulo Coelho puts it
if you’re brave enough to say goodbye,
life will reward you with a new hello– The Pilgrimage
I unboxed the gift and lo behold, it was in purple. Borahae.
Then I opened the Samsung Smart Switch app and connect both phones over Wifi and Bluetooth.
This app allows you to transfer every single app with sign-in details, photos and media from my A7 to A32 swiftly. In fact, the arrangements of my app on the home screen of my A32 is a clone of my A7. It looked exactly like my old phone’s interface, so much so that it feels like home. Only with more storage and better camera quality.
Every. Single. Detail.
As for my old photos, I organized them in my Seabyte External Hard Disk starting from 2008 till 2021. Well, I tried my best but I still have a lot of documents to organize. J-Hope would be proud!
I give second chances for relationships or circumstances to work out. Including things. Cause sometimes I feel if a gadget is deemed not working or useless, it could be because as users, we have yet to uncover its full potential. My husband received a Mi Band a few years ago as a winning prize. He wore it for quite a while but at one point he kind of stopped. I did not really enquire why and to be honest, have quite forgotten about the Mi Band existence until a few weeks ago.
My workplace had this fitness competition going on. We are to track our steps per day and see if the accumulated steps would, later on, translate into a winning streak. Previously, I used my phone as a tracker and bring it everywhere I go. Then, I thought, why not get one of those smartwatches that I could wear and go for my walks instead of bringing the phone with me. I started browsing Shopee and ‘liked’ a few items. For example,
Samsung Wearables – the designs are cute, my problem with it is that I’ll be in the Samsung ecosystem which is not integrated with my BookDoc app. Plus, I use a lot of Google in my daily activities.
Hence, I focused more on Google Fit Tech and stumbled upon not only their Wear Os but other watches from Fossil too. Considering the extravagant functions, the price is steep. I could almost buy a new phone with that price tag.
Having browsed through the options, I decided to give myself a trial period before committing to my very own wearables. I nicked my husband’s abandoned, neglected Mi Band. I found out that the straps have come off, so I bought new, feminine straps from China through Shopee. I charged the watch for longer hours as a colleague said that if it was properly charged, the batteries could last for the whole week. Indeed, it was true.
I downloaded the Mi Fit app, connected it to a Google fit app which is later synchronized with BookDoc. That’s a lot of steps – I will find a shortcut to this. Still, it worked. Thus, I am more motivated to engage in activities that could increase my basal metabolic rate. I am still parked further from the building’s main entrance. Calorie deficit meals. More water. More salad on the plate. Coffee is still on the menu.
My husband’s Mi Band has been given a new purpose in life – to keep the wife, ME, fit and healthy. I guess the band is here to stay on my wrist instead of his.
It was a mini celebration for the kid’s birthdays. To be honest, I still feel lemau and not up to socializing but for the fam – I will fight No Mood and get on with it. As a Youtube amateur, I managed to create more than 1 video for 2021. I was aiming for 10 but it was harder than what I perceived. The motivation needs to be there on top of great organization skills.
Afterwards, I need to get a pen and paper to sort my thoughts. The brain cells are a bit chaotic up there. I decluttered the blog’s followers the other day. I discovered that most of them seemed like bot accounts, a few were inactive and some appeared dodgy. So, I am back to nil followers today and see if the content I put in writing here is worth new subscribers in the upcoming months.