A bleeding brain

My father in law is currently in the intensive care unit for a hypertensive bleed. He presented with repetitive vomiting a day before with minimal body weakness. The alarms starting ringing when he was difficult to rouse for Zuhur prayers. My MIL couldn’t seem to wake him up. He would open his eyes and appear to want to make some movement but unable to do so.

My mother in law then proceeded to call his sons, the teachers and the doctor (my husband). His alertness level was assessed by my husband but found to be at a poor score. They called for an ambulance via MECC.

FIL was brought to red zone and intubated immediately to secure his airway. Apart from the usual cocktail to sedate and paralyze a patient, he did not require any blood pressure lowering agents nor an inotrope. He was pushed for a CT brain and a bleed was detected.

Husband read the CT scan film himself based on what he learned as a medical officer in ED before and gave us his reporting on our family group. ( He is now a public health specialist) It was good to know that there were no cell infarcts and that the basal cisterns were open . Still, my FIL was referred to the neurosurgical team in Seremban for expert opinion. Deep down in our hearts we know it will be a conservative management.

24 hours later he was weaned off his sedation. My FIL was slowly waking up and today he was good enough to be extubated. We don’t know when he will be allowed home though. It was a wake up call for all of us.

Not to take our parents for granted.

Sometimes we still see them in the lens of being their children. That we are kids. Young. We think they will be around longer and will only die when they are older. We forget that over 60 is already old and the matters of Life and Death is in Allah’s hand regardless of your age.

Secondly, I was amazed at how calm my MIL was in this situation. She was still able to giggle as she narrates how she and the grandchildren tried to wake him up from his sleep the day he was brought to hospital. Her coping mechanisms are admirable.

Thirdly, I saw how his small community came to his side. His Geng Surau. Without having to ask, they have already initiated upon themselves to solat hajat for my FIL. I don’t think it would be the same in my neighbourhood if something were to happen to my own family. Maybe it is time to be nicer to the neighbours and participate in activities of Geng Surau in my area. Biar orang kenal sikit sapa duduk rumah yang ada pokok mangga gondol tu.

Above all I learned that I sayang my FIL. In fact, I couldn’t wish for anybody else to be both my parents in law. With so many things you read on social media, I cannot help feeling syukur for what has been given to me. They have never interfered in how we choose to run our family. Their house is always open to us children and grandchildren. They give sound advice indirectly. They do not leech on their children’s money and are financially able on themselves. The list goes on.

I should also mention that I am grateful that my husband is mine. He is the best advocate anyone could ever wish for especially at times when you cannot speak for yourself. He is so thick skinned, confident, firm , eloquent with thankfully superb clinical acumen at the same time.

Yerlah kan.. ala2 cocky tapi bangang mmg org kata mengundang nista lah jawabnya.. kang tak pepasal physician kata family fussy.

3R : Read, Reflect, Respond

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