I have probably said it before. As a wife, the strongest weapon one could have at hand, apart from a supportive mother in law on your side, is DOA. For it is only He, The Almighty who holds someones heart and have the ability to make it go towards the intended direction. Believing in the Divine power helps me, in a way, set my mind that I am still in control of my life. My destiny. With Allah’s will.
There have been times when I am in despair thinking, “why is my husband so obstinate like a goat?” Especially on matters where the black is not as clear as the white and us being in the grey, trying to prove our points. Not all issues have practical solutions to it. Even if there are, it may not be ideal. Or sometimes a problem need not be solved. It just requires time and empathy for it to dissolve and go away. Being married, you need to choose which battles to fight and win. Or in my case, let him win (first) and for Allah to teach him a lesson at another time. Ha ha.
9 years to me is a milestone. It is one of the longest relationship I’ve ever had with another human being after my parents & siblings. Things get more challenging with time but we grow to be more mature and intuitive of each others feelings. I am grateful that my husband, despite being pissed at me at times, has never risen his voice or his hands towards me. His silent treatment says it all! If only I could return the gesture but then I keep finding myself, the one who is perceived as having the patience of a Buddha by people outside my home, as someone with a completely different persona at home. It’s like to the world I’m Dr Jekyll and with my husband, I could easily morph into a Mrs Hyde. I don’t scream but I tend to scowl, sulk and express some sort of fury emoji. LOL
Our conversations evolve more around the kids and work. We don’t really talk about just us. This is something I envy from the Western husband-wife relationships. There is still a lot of I love You going around or at least a ‘that baju kurung looks nice on you’. Well, I guess I’d have to start that with him first and cross fingers, he wouldn’t think I’m dying from an illness or something. Work related talks are also upgrading in terms of knowledge and medical terms. I have to keep up with these intelligent exchanges and if suddenly, I struck a dumb moment – I’d just throw up a random, interesting facts of the world that my husband would not know like ‘did you know the couple who starred in Quiet Place’ is a real husband-wife off screen? ‘
HA ha ha ha.
We celebrated our wedding anniversary with the kids of course. A trip to Langkawi and Penang which of course will be featured in this blog soon. Perhaps next year, if our marriage still holds, InsyaAllah, we could celebrate it with a kenduri doa selamat and perhaps, a meal for just the two of us?