July 3rd, Adam Rayqal

Malaysians were not ready to read it in the news. Nor to receive the circulating update on Watsapp regarding the whereabouts of Adam Rayqal who went missing after being allegedly picked up by an imposter who said he was the father of the child from the babysitters house that day.

But as soon as my eyes were open to start the day – it was all over social media. The 5 month old baby was found in the babysitters house, in the fridge. DEAD.

Image result for rayqal peti sejuk

Netizens reacted with disbelief. Netizens played detectives. Everyone was trying to put out a theory as to why Adam was in the fridge and what on earth happened and what the hell was the babysitter thinking by having a child in there.

Credit should first be given to PDRM for their efficient investigation. We wouldn’t expect less from one of the best police forces in the world. I trust that justice will be served especially after seeing a footage of the Mom screaming at the crime scene, still in her scrubs (she is a neonatal ICU nurse) – ouh, it just breaks anybody’s heart.

The babysitter has been charged, pleaded not guilty and is still under trial in court. I am still curious how this lady who also has an adopted OKU ( = disabled) child could commit such an act. Was there an underlying psychiatric disorder? Or was she that malicious? What really happened and Why did she resort to keep Adam in the fridge, concoct a story of abduction instead of calling up the parents if something genuinely did go wrong? These are questions we still do not have answers to. And we wouldn’t know if we’d ever get to read about it in the official papers. Unless we attend the trial.

You would think that in this situation – netizens would hold hands and give support to each other, comforting the mother right? NO. BIG NO. I was appalled at how insensitive some Malaysians can be on their keyboards.

Amidst the melancholic atmosphere, a particular mom condemn openly the action of sending kids to babysitters or daycare  – and gloated about how she quit her job to care for her kids because ‘rezeki’ you can find anywhere.

A man said the mom was selfish to work (she is an ICU NURSE for freaking sake) and her place should be at home to serve the husband and family. GOsh. LIKE OHemgeee.. I would want to see if the man would allow a male doctor to conduct his wife’s delivery if all ladies are to stay at home. Sheeesshh.

Another person gave lots and lots of tips on how to choose a babysitter. While the intention was well meaning and helpful to assist other parents who will make the same choices  – it sounded condescending when certain words were used like ‘sepatutnya mak dia.. bla bla bla‘. It’s not the type of thing a parent who had just lost a child would wanna hear.

So what could help them ease their pain? I am still learning how as a medical practitioner. For not one method is the same for everybody. Not everyone likes “I am sorry for your loss”. For those who are spiritual (detected through their zikr or anything relating to religion) I would try to comfort them by saying that the child is in heaven. The child is waiting for you. The child is in good hands. Something along those lines. Sometimes the parents calm down. Sometimes they keep bawling their eyes out. There’s never one method but I’d love to know how some of you deal with loss. Either as an observer or the one who had experienced it.

As for Adam Rayqal, I hope it was not painful for him. Rest in peace dear child, may Allah take care of you.

3R : Read, Reflect, Respond

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