Tawakkal (Arabic: تَوَكُّل) in the Arabic language, is the word for the Islamic concept of reliance on God or “trusting in God’s plan”. It is seen as “perfect trust in God and reliance on Him alone.”
I just had another moment betul2 tawakal last week when I managed a lady with dengue. A severe dengue. And she was pregnant.
It’s one of those cases when even the most bad ass sinner would turn to God seeking help. For all we know, there is no antiviral nor magic concoction to battle the disease yet. We could only provide supportive treatment until the virus weakens, as our antibody fights it off.
If you confront in with an already impaired health status – meaning for instance if you have diabetes or a pre-existing heart condition, it may mean you have to fight harder. Yet doctors and researchers remain perplexed as to why young, healthy individuals still succumb to death despite having nil medical condition.
In my case, I like to think that a pregnant mother gets their extra support to fight dengue from their fetus. Just like those pregnant doctors oncall who seems to have super strength doing their job even though they had to be on their feet and stay awake all night.
On that particular day, the moment the lab called to inform that her blood results were positive for dengue – I had cold sweats. My first thought was, what would my visiting specialist do? I used whatever insight and things I learnt from my boss from a case I consulted a few days before (also a lady who had dengue fever with very low blood pressure) and applied whats relevant in the current case. I kept reminding myself to document my actions and treatment plans properly because if other people do not see it on paper – that means you did not do it. Documentation has always been a problem for me because one, I am very slow in differentiating what is left and right. Secondly, my thought processes are so fast that my hands can’t keep up. However, it must be done for effective continuation of care.
I have been in a mortality case discussion before. Although no fingers were pointed (like, honestly!) – in retrospective, we always feel bad because in hindsight there was always that something you could do to hopefully shift the condition to a better outcome.
After initiating proper early interventions and consulting important people, I passed the baton to my more expert colleagues in the tertiary hospital. From what I gathered, they had a sleepless night too as they had to face several medical emergencies one after the other. But I was very hopeful because it was a strong team working that night. At that hospital.
My adrenaline and anxiety did not stop there. I actually made solat hajat and read Yasin for the patient that night. Which was something I rarely do. Even for those who are most ill. But I felt compelled to do so because during the last minutes prior to transferring her into the ambulance – I caught the face of one of her children. Her son, probably around 8 years old. Crying in the arms of his father who was also sobbing – worried sick for this wife who has bored him their 4 children and now carrying his 5th.
That made me very determined to pray to Allah that night. So this woman could stay strong , so she could return to her family and wipe away the tears of her crying husband and children. And that everything would be okay once more.
Alhamdulilah.. she is now out of danger.