My 32nd Birthday

I am 32 years old this year. And I celebrated my birthday as though I was 13. I had the presents, the cake with candles and all. Even a surprise birthday song from friends. I couldn’t wish for more. And as usual, I did some reflection or muhasabah diri as we call it – on my ambitions, success and failures.

I reminded myself that Quitting KKM is not a wise option at the moment. Definitely not to think about for the next 3 years. However with likelihood of consideration for the next 5 years after that of course. Ha ha – thus this keeps me focused to not be lead ashtray by promises of financial freedom and debt free, when in fact I still owe JPA a few hundred thousand ringgit of study loan for my medical school fees.

Birthday morning started with a present wrapped in Mr Husbands very own kain pelikat – which he said was inspired by the extreme cheapskate TV programme. I was honestly hoping to find a recycled bday card as well in the package. I got a bag + purse combo. Like any woman’s life motto, one could not have too many bags hence I welcomed the new addition to my current collection with very open arms. Later that day, I attended the Raya Celebration event organized by my unit.

Venue : Hospital compound

Photos credit to Wan Luffy Kowt

We had the heavy meals like nasi impit, bihun, rendang and spaghetti. Then there was the luxury of satay, hotdog sticks with lots and lots of cakes. The Raya event coincidently fell on my birthday to which I was overjoyed. It felt very syok sendiri to think that ‘we are all gathered here to celebrate the golden years of beloved MInci’ fofular lah sangat. I was not let down as I had a surprise birthday song and cake to go with it.

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What I liked about the whole surprise thing was that it reaffirmed my role not only as a wife, mother or friend. In fact, it was a subtle recognition that I was a woman of my own. That people recognise and accept me for who I am and not as Mr bla bla ‘s wife or Ee’s mom per se. I was someone who got to where I was at my own terms – or at least so I hope. It’s like when someone mentions your name – people identify you by traits special to yourself instead of first imagining your husband or son before finding that particular face referred to as His Wife or His Mother.

Its worthwhile to review your life in Milestones rather than a yearly review. I’d rather see and measure my self worth at intervals of 30 years old and later at 35. Of course, one should always strive to do their best every year and attain smaller goals to materialize bigger ones. I am no exception. Being 32, I am happy and grateful for what I have today – my family & friends, my career and work colleagues. 

These are my social support. These are the people that I hope could turn to when I am at my most worst or sinking in my own sorrows. Also the people I’d go to when happiness strikes and I want to share and celebrate. That give meaning to what I do everyday. I hope these are the people who would miss me and find me should I go missing one day. And bottom of it all. I hope these 3 major circles of my life would intersect with each other in a harmonious manner so I could perform as the best version of myself in dunya and akhirat. InsyaAllah. Here is to my 33rd birthday next year.

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