My inner demon

Its only February and already I am struggling with my inner demon. Her name is Monci.

One of the supporting staff was saying

“Kalau pahala tuh boleh nampak, berduyun2 orang nak buat baik”

Interesting. But that is the beauty of the world Hereafter. Abstract yet true. Where one just needs faith that it exists and believe that if one lead a life full of worth and dignity, he/she shall be rewarded handsomely.

Today my inner demon decided to put up a fight. For Team Evil.

My inner demon wanted to be Selfish but I knew that by doing that, she would only gain temporary happiness and satisfaction. How could I sleep knowing that the benefit I received today is probably built upon the tears and misery of another person.

My inner demon wanted to Lie. I told her that one day people are going to ruin you with the Truth.

My inner demon wanted to be Lazy. I told her, her salaries worth – in Ringgit and in Deed. She buys food with this money. She buys Hazeeq’s vitagen drinks with this dough – what if Hazeeq frequently falls ill because of this rezki which is.. non barakah.

My inner demon wanted to Spend. On all the handbags and shoes she could buy. I told her she should Save for rainy days. I also reminded her to Give. Especially to the less fortunate for part of what we receive may have little parts of other people.

Finally,

My inner demon wanted to be Stingy. She doesn’t want to give shit to whats happening around her. I was undecided on this one. I told her, “you must give a shit.. you must”

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