Of K-pop and Assertive NO

Would netizens and relevant authorities react differently if the K-Pop guys hugged a young ah moi. Instead of an anak dara donning a hijab. The Running Man cast were in Malaysia last year, I wonder how many hijabster’s were allegedly ‘molested’ by them as they queue in a meet and greet autograph session. Either way, I just don’t think any young girl of whatever creed should be put in an organized compromising situation. One that could lead to being judged by others. Any parent surely, wouldn’t want just ‘any guy’ to touch and hug their daughters, no? If as a parent we are vigilant towards the guy our girls go out with, why doesn’t the same rule apply to these K-Pop guys.

Some argued that these guys ‘asked for permission’ before proceeding with the gimmick. IMHO, they shouldn’t ask in the first place – a strange boy should not freely touch any girl who are not theirs to keep. But hey, this is an entertainment industry – I don’t work in one – I don’t know how the dynamics work. So lets leave it at that.

I feel sorry for the girls who got caught up in the hysterical moment. I mean, if Angelina Jolie or Beto Kusyairy himself were to walk into my casualty department for a fracture, I wouldn’t hesitate to be the first to attend to their ailments. It’s called being human, being in awe – only Insya-Allah, I would know to restrain myself and not take a selfie with Angie if she was still recovering from her anaethesia for instance. Or touching Beto unnecessarily on the cheeks when he has a broken leg.

A Dr Harlina brought up an interesting point regarding this problem. About how we should start educating girls/ women in the art of expressing an Assertive NO. Of knowing how to refuse or deny one of something in a manner deemed proper, with diplomacy, not aggressive but getting the point across. If the girls managed to exercise an Assertive NO on stage- this probably wouldn’t happen. The gimmick of hugging would probably be replaced with a serenade or a dance.

I wished I read her piece on this many years ago. Even now I still struggle with the ability to say an Assertive NO. Especially when a non Muslim man wants to shake your hand for a wonderful job well done et cetera..

Recently, my Facebook feed was flooded with varied responses to the K-pop incident. I couldn’t agree more as I witnessed how it has been blown out of proportion. I don’t see how arresting the girls for indecency could help. Nor does holding the organizing committee wholly accountable a good move. Why not resort to counselling or community service. Or establishing guidelines to international performing artistes regarding local customs. And please, we are not talking solely about pantang larang dalam Islam, but budaya sopan santun, budi bahasa as an asian community (dayak, cina, india etc). The vision of wanting our girls to have fun yet abide to certain rules so they remain protected.

Already, they feel embarassed with their photos gone viral and circulated around the web. Not to mention the ‘punishment’ they’re getting at home from the parents. And now this? What about the mass molestation we see in our Malay dramas reality TV shows? Do they get to walk away unharmed because they are not wearing a hijab? Or that they have to hug each other because it’s part of the job? Which is ironically written by a muslim as well. Tak payah tgk jauh – Arianna Rose was written by a lady in a hijab , directed by a woman in hijab and yet we see Keith Foo and Nur Fathia acting very chummy towards each other. Oh lupa.. tuntutan skrip. Seems like a lot have to be done to get the Assertive NO message across. Cause apart from our youngsters, adults and warga emas are struggling too.

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