The Drunkards of Mordor

“A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he’s persuasive”
Demetri Martin

On a quiet night in ED as my nurses are having their Nurses Day celebration nearby and my MAs gladly taking over their duties for a while.. a call came in :

Requesting for 3 ambulance!

I was super excited. The fire brigade teams were already despatched at the scene of accident and after assessing the severity of the condition had requested for medical team help. When the patients came , I was a tad disappointed. They were 4 big, drunkard , attention seeking men who were honestly not seriously injured.

This means:

  • the whole village would come and think they sustain serious injuries. Most common problem is a lung contusion to which the patient would have difficulty to breath (common ). While we  will give them pain relief thay would blindly insist on an ambulance service to the tertiary hospital for further treatment. this is the time when even the most macho men would become sissies. pondan.
  • security guards become useless. unable to handle the crowd of relatives thus endangering the safety of doctors and staff
  • answering the same question again and again from the same family but different people. apa lah yang susah gilak nak faham. mok diulang byk2 kali. sidak eksiden tok satu hal juak. dah tauk mabuk.. gago mok nereb.
  • having uncooperative patients. ‘kenapa mau ambik darah saya?’ ‘saya tidak mau xray’ ‘sakit!! sakit!!’ cuci lukak kau ngan spirit bok tauk,
  • other patients waiting time is increased, they’ll get upset or angry

All in all, as mentioned earlier. NO one sustained serious injury but boy do they exaggerate their pain. Most importantly, not one of the four drunkards who came in admitted to being the driver. Everyone was in the passenger seat! Morons.

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