“Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything”
I experienced one of those epiphany moments today. Like Allah was talking to me, responding to my dilemma and questions through my thought processes. The message was profound, engaging and helped me to understand better about myself and other women.
I often wondered why some women still choose to stay with their abusive husband. Or willing to put up with the substandard treatment from their husband.
Today, I understood why.
They were hoping that the bad things will take a turn to be better. Or back to the good times they once had. Yes, hope. So they stayed day after day, then months and years.. hoping that the next morning their husband would turn on a new leaf and be the kind young lad they once knew. That he will not lay a hand on her. That he will not verbally abuse her, hurting her emotionally and shattering her confidence. Thats why they stayed on and took in all the negative forces into their marriage.
I also wondered if I would have the courage to quit my job one day and become a full time housewife to raise my kids and care for my husband. After all, Mr husband has the financial capabilities to support the household.
I was confident of being able to say ‘yes’ until I began to question, if I would instead have the courage to keep my current job and care for my family at the same time. For it was at that rare moment that I was able to see my job as my lifeline. Without it, I would loose my independence, my voice, my courage to be who I am. That is unless Im able to generate actively my own income on top of being a housewife. My job was my way out of a mess should it happen (nauzubillah) one day.
Picture this. No job means no ‘own’ friends. No money of your own. No outside interest. Well, thats the basic.
Assuming one day Mr Husband wants to take on a second wife. I would be tied into giving in…since Im financially dependent on him. Worse, if one day Mr Husband decided to leave me, now what will I give my children to eat. It will not be easy to start working again and starting at the bottoom of the ladder especially when I am pretty much on the top of the food chain.
So yes, my questions were answered.
Take home message : Work , like your husband is going to leave you one day to rot.