Ponderings on becoming an NGI

I scrolled my FB feed today and digested the usual ‘news’. Of syok sendiri viral issues, local crimes, nonsense politics, recipes that I can’t seem to find time to make and sales post and recruitment which is supposed to get you out of poverty or debt.

Then there was this little post by one of my favourite NGI’s; Syed Azmi. He was kind of ‘coaching’ a young NGI (Non Governmental Individual) wannabe, Imran, by asking a few basic questions that, in my opinion could help guide someone to the desired charitable purpose.

Some of the questions were;

  1. What is your skill?

  2. What is your passion?

  3. When is your free time you can volunteer?

  4. Do you drive?

  5. What is your strength/weakness? Your limitation?

I was stuck at No 3. I couldn’t really use my profession as my excuse because personally I do not think that it’s a formidable excuse. Like come on lah Minci… if you really want to do something – you would make time for it. Sampai bila nak harap pada pahala pasif kan? Which sadly seems to be the most popular thing nowadays. For instance, if someone wants to sell their product, it almost often ends with ‘share this post, you could get pahala for simply sharing” just how we love passive income? errr.. guilty as charged here. 

Hence I learnt something about this process. That we should give what we can with the capacity that we have. I may not have time (yet) to devote for my cause. But InsyaAllah, that intense push will come. yelah.. can you just imagine my husbands reaction? Dahlah already busy with oncall and on your free weekend you want to run for Africa? Not to mention those occasional but important days where you had to stay back at work because you had to?  Contoh je.. I just don’t want the topic of ‘anak kera di hutan disusukan‘ to rise in our daily couple conversation. Kah kah kah.  Until then, just do what you can. 

A kind word. A motivating speech/blog post/watsapp message.

A  mini donation/contribution here and there.

The ultimate act of charity is still about Time. I will get there.


Counting my blessings – my little sunshine

This is just me counting my blessings. Documenting the little miracles and rezeki in my life.

I had a terrible shift last night. Macam biasalah...jonah its like once I step into the Casualty Unit for my shift – patients just decide to flock in and needs resuscitation. Despite a hectic night, I managed to have 58 accumulated minutes of rest in between cases. I was still on my feet when the next shift rolled in. I couldn’t think straight once it’s time to punch out.

I fetched my son from his grandmothers house after work. Once we reached home, I switched on the air conditioner in the living room. I told Ee that Mummy needs to rest and take a nap (had my pillow and blanket laid out on the floor) and that he is free to watch whatever cartoon he wants. I also reminded him to wake me up if he wants anything like switching on bathroom lights or anything.

Then I dozed off and when I woke up in between my stages of sleep – I saw my little angel engrossed peacefully in his little world. He was doing his kindergarten homework independently with his Ultraman Cosmos series on the telly. On a considerable volume – not too loud but just enough for him to hear the show. I was also amused that he had his yogurt drink beside him which he took out himself from the fridge. It was such a beautiful sight to see him there – minding his own work and managing himself accordingly.

When he saw me waking up – he narrated to me about him homework and the number of stars  he got for his work. He explained about the monsters and Ultraman forces. he offered me his drink to which I politely declined. Because I was practically still in mamai mode. For a minute I was that irresponsible, oh-my-god sorta mom because immediately after his ‘brief report’ I continued to doze off. Only to be awakened by a phone call from my husband asking the colour of our ‘tong gas’ because it has run out of gas.

But yes, my son is my blessing today. He could have been screaming his head off or making my nap impossible but he didn’t. Alhamdulilah…

Parcel Kasih Sayang : Beauty Edition


Another set of parcels outgoing for the girls in the Wanita Besi Eropah group. Ha ha ha.


Items include;

  1. A pouch I bought from Sarawak  – can be made into a pencil case or a makeup bag
  2. Elianto facial sheet mask
  3. Lactacyd feminine wipes
  4. Elianto  eye glitter and lip balm
  5. Paper clip bookmarks
  6. KUPON CINTA edisi khas Minci
  7. Pencils for the kids
  8. Handmade Breast Cancer Awareness brooch and Organ Donation shawl pin

I wanted to include some special tea but I forgot. Ha ha. And I decorated every single envelope. He he..


Postcall moments – those extra hours ..

I was late to leave for home that day. My patient collapsed in the early hours of the morning. Usually I’d try to tie up loose ends by 7AM and clear as many trivial green cases before the next shift comes in – just so they’d start fresh and less stressful. The cases will never stop coming in. It’s a fact we’ve gotten used to because people fall sick the whole time. So I thought it’ll be a normal routine. Alas, Allah has better plans.

The patient was a ‘regular customer’ to our centre. We could almost memorize his medical history. He was one of those patients we fear the Grim Reaper would visit when he steps onto hospital grounds. Indeed – the patient briefly walked towards the light during resuscitation.

His airway was difficult to manipulate and intubate. I had to escort him to the tertiary centre with a laryngeal mask airway. It was already past my hours of working but seeing the cases already piling up and the ward rounds my colleagues has to do – I decided to hop on the ambulance. They need all the help they can get. Plus, Mr Husband is around this weekend – I texted him saying that I’m still at work and that I’ll be late. Just so he won’t be worried. Driving 45 mins back home post call was never a good idea – but a job is a job.

We arrived at the tertiary centre uneventfully. Allah was kind to give me the learning opportunity to witness how a glidescope was used. My extra hours of working was not in vain. It was beneficial. Alhamdulilah. 

On the way back to the hospital, I had a quick nap in the ambulance. Afterwards,  I grabbed a coffee from the vending machine before I started my commute back home. My son was already beaming with joy as my car parked into the driveway. It was already near lunchtime. Mr Husband was doing his work on his laptop as I narrated the events that happened early morning. I took a long hot shower and suddenly The Important Knock came to the door,

“Cepat mandi Mummy, makanan dah siap”

(hurry up mummy, food is ready)


Mr Husband was already preparing steamboat for our early lunch. Air tangan suami – obviously nyaman.  I then took my postcall nap as I couldn’t talk and think straight anymore.

Thank you for everything Allah – for reviving my patient, for giving me this wonderful family.

Mini Review : Lone Wolf by Jodi Piccoult


Beside the book are my notes for the topic I was supposed to present during the ‘Jom Ikrar’ course

A few weeks ago I received a book from a friend. It was Lone Wolf by Jodi Piccoult. This was my second book from the same author – the first being My Sisters Keeper. The sender gave me the book with a wish hoping that apart from learning about wolves (which I did – and will never look at them  the same way again), I had to reflect on 2 important questions;

What Is a Brain Death?

What Would I do?

Background Story:

It’s a story of a broken family of four. The parents divorced. The father (LUKE) continued his obsessive studies on wolves while sharing custody with his exwife (GEORGIE) of their teenage daughter (CARA) and now estranged son (EDWARD). Georgie remarried and had kids from her new relationship and Edward, who was just over 18 years old, was a thousand miles away in Thailand teaching English to the locals. Cara on the other hand became close to his father and together they enjoyed caring for the wolves.

Like it or not, they had to come together as a family when Luke and Cara got involved in a terrible accident. Cara survived with curable injuries but unfortunately for Luke – he never woke up from his coma. Or will he?

The dilemma now lies in the hands of 2 young adults – the siblings who are not on the same page and thrive on different sets of perspectives and moral values,  to decide the fate of their father. Will they wait for him to come around or would they have to legally let him go? And if they chose the latter – on what grounds?

What is Brain Death?

Simply put, it’s when the control command of your brain dies. The death of a particular part of your brain (the brain stem) which keeps you alive and aware of your surroundings, that controls your eye blinking, your act of swallowing and some as simple as breathing. Upon which once the function ceases – the person is theoretically dependent upon mechanical ventilation and medication support. Chance of recovery – almost nil.

What would I do?

Because I understand things better now – if I am certified as brain dead. Please let me go. And if I am still a suitable candidate for organ donation, then kindly proceed as planned. I would do the same for my family members.


since 2014

Thank you for the book Zawani.