The Ex-Fiance and finding a Home

The ex-fiance is now my husband. Let’s start with that. Saw this photo highlighted on Instagram and saw lots of positive comments on it. Which is good although it did make me wonder, is that not a natural step towards marriage? Preparing a place to stay as a couple, be it a rented place or an abode of your own.

We were engaged sometime in September 2010 which is about 3 months after we started dating each other. The solemnization was initially scheduled in the following year in April but we brought forward the ceremony in December the same year. Part of the reason was of fulfilling the wishes of sick & dying family members. One of my superiors however commented that it was because I am pregnant. Honestly, I was shocked for her to even think about myself as that kind of person. Plus, it was an insult to my fiance too because of all the guys I have ever gone out with, he was the only one who really kept his hands to himself and our conversations never had a sexual innuendo to it. Not even a cuit of the lengan over the blouse! Not even a ‘tak sabar nak kahwin’ remark. Nampak tak betapa terjaganya that relationship. So, make doa to Allah for jodoh that comes from a sekolah agama and eats McDonalds.

Our BMI’s were so ideal back then.. This was our merisik moment

Prior to the wedding, we were living in our respective homes. Mine, a rented single storey terraced house and him in a crib shared with 2 other housemates. A few weeks before we took akad, he found a small house near where we worked. He furnished it accordingly with enough stuff for newlyweds to start functioning as a couple. I moved my things bit by bit to the house as well but only fully moved in after our marriage which is on Day 6 of our new relationship as husband and wife. He paid the rent, broadband and utilities fully. I paid for nothing. HAHAHAHA. Oh wait, I paid for my car and whatever groceries I wanted to get.

Once my son is borned, we moved to Melaka. I stayed with my in laws for just about a year until we found our current home via Mudah.Com. Staying with in laws can be nerve-wrecking but I am grateful to have an understanding MIL and husband of course. I was working shifts at the time and I do not have to worry about leaving my son because I know my husband can look after him competently. After all, his mom is an experienced nurse and can offer sound advice anytime. Alhamdulilah for that.

My D.I.Y dais/pelamin

My current house is on my name solely. I pay for its monthly housing loans and my husband furnishes the interior. It has been a practice in his family to put down the wife’s name on the property. At least, the first one. Later, if he wants he can buy other properties. Which he did and rented out to other people.

For now, we are relatively stable as a family. We have jobs, a roof on our heads, thriving kids and good social support. We are at home. If there is any advice I could give to newlyweds, it is probably to consider to stay or settle down at a place where you could reap from good social support. They can be family, siblings, reliable friends or established institutions. This is because sometimes out of the needs to fulfill a jobs criteria, one would have to move out of their comfort zone. Not everyone has the luxury of choice though. If it comes to that, you need to revise an arrangement where your nucleus family is best taken care of. No one can work and give their best performance if they worry about their wives and kids all the time. Like, if the kids are ill.. who can help out? If both husband and wife needs to be admitted to ward for dengue, who could help to care for the kids? Things like that..

There’s no better way to end this,

Home is Where the Heart is

The 5AM Club by Robin Sharma

“Weird, reminds me of Austin Powers” – Minci Moss

There is this general public perception that very successful people are almost always early risers. They would workout in the morning and plan their day out. Indeed, that is an idea that has been resonating in almost every parent who wants to instill the success attitude in their kids. We read about these energetic mornings in various business articles, motivational write ups and biographies. Even Islam encourages the practice of waking up before fajar for worship activities and spiritual contentment.

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The bottomline of this book is just that,

It is good to start your day at 5AM

.. and this book will offer suggestions on what to do during those early hours by enticing readers with fancy formula names. I rated the book as 3 out of 5 stars on GoodReads because I get a headache reading it. The theories are laid out in the form of a fictional story and it was so bizarre that I imagined The Spellbinder to have the face of Mike Myers as he starred in Austin Powers.

The billionaire business man, Mr Riley was ridiculously wealthy that he was able to shuttle 2 complete strangers to various locations in the world to understand some of his success ideas. It is a refreshing way I guess, to put across an idea in that form of story telling. Maybe this has always been Robin Sharma’s way of writing, I can’t tell because this is my first time reading a book by him.

As a reader, you will be in the same boat as the lady entrepreneur and male artists in trying to make a meaning out of the whole experience. Like them, you will learn about the various formulas on how to make your 5AM productive and such. It is an interesting layout of your time but for me, it is quite complicated.

This book also made me realize that not all Self Help theories are applicable to you. This book is surely not written to cater parents with young children for instance especially when it talks about restful sleep. I cannot help letting out a ‘duuhhhh’ when I read that part. Ha ha ha. It is undoubtedly more alluring to those running a company or business. Or those who looks to manage their time better (once the kids know how to sort themselves out in the morning). Maybe I will be more connected to the book in a few years time. Maybe.

Syawal 2020

Our usual arrangement for Syawal is to spend the morning at my inlaws house, and then we drive to Selangor where my parents live. We would stay there overnight or for a few days depending on our work schedule. Later, on Day 3 or Day 4 of Syawal, we will have family day in Johor. Looks like this year, Covid-19 decided to change everybody’s plan.

As of now, my Syawal is spent by staying put in our homes and a brief ‘Hi’ at my in laws home. Visits are kept short with less than 20 people at one time. No takbir from house to house, no Eid open houses or jamuan later on. It is hoped that everybody could maintain social distances and practice good hygiene.

Our theme for this year is Dusty Pink. I bought my outfit and Ninie’s via an online store. It thankfully arrive before raya. The price was reasonable and the cutting was good. Meaning I could use it as ‘baju contoh’ for my clothes next year .

On the 2nd day, Mr Husband wanted to host dinner at our crib.The recipe for his marinated beef turned out to be a disaster. Bulgogi nadai.. You could tell that no one liked the beef. LOL. I guess I need to modify the beef afterwards. I stored them in the freezer with slices of pear with the hope that it will work its enzyme magic. I passed some Laksa Sarawak to my neighbour, Tan and his family. I think he will be one of my consistent receivers of food in the future.

How was your raya? Tell me about it.

Husband’s 35th Birthday

Husband turned 35 last week. I did not know what to get him as a gift so I just bought him a cake from Italy Bakery situated at Jalan Kenanga. It was a very low key celebration this year – we can’t go out to dine, much less going on a vacation or to the movies.

TQ husband for existing in my life as it has undeniably gotten better. It is not perfect but it is better. I couldn’t imagine someone like yourself being so patient spending your lifetime (insyaAllah) with me. I hope we have a good ending to our lives here in dunia and a wonderful journey together till its due.

Flight of thoughts

It is 0440H in Ramadhan. I usually wake up at 0445H to prepare Sahur. My brain is speeding on the right lane of the highway at the moment. My daughter just woke me up about an hour ago asking for milk. I got a bit crossed that my sleep was interrupted at an odd hour and so after I mixed her milk, I made myself a cup of coffee. I am now buzzing with caffeine.

I checked the OUM portal again to see if the exam results are out.

I revised my blog drafts.

I looked at my string lights and wonder why aren’t they as ‘energetic’ lately – is it because we do not have much solar energy lately?

And then I had this eureka moment to start a fundraising effort to buy a washing machine for my clinic. It is an old machine and have been broken beyond repair for some time. Hence, my PPK’s have been washing the clinics laundry at the nearby clinic. My matron has been requesting a new machine from the district health office but was never granted. So, maybe it is time we take things into our own hands.

However now is a tough time (COVID-19), I need to think about how to make a collective activity with social distancing in mind. Hmmm.. just let me sit on it and put my thinking cap on.